Sunday, February 8, 2009

Basic Principle Of Attractions..

Interpersonal attraction is the attraction between people which leads to friendships and romantic relationships.. The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of research in social psychology.. Interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, love, dislike, or hate someone.. It can be viewed as a force acting between two people that tends to draw them together and resist their separation.. When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy.. It is suggested that to determine attraction, personality and situation must be taken into account.

Repulsion is also a factor in the process of interpersonal attraction, one's conception of "attraction" to another can vary from extreme attraction to extreme repulsion..

From what I've known, there are 6 figures of attraction...

1. Similarity
- Have you ever heard of the phrase, "birds of a feather flock together"? There is a lay belief actual similarity produces attraction.. People are attracted to others who are similar to them in demographics, physical appearance, attitudes, interpersonal style, social and cultural background, personality, interests and activities preferences, and communication and social skills.

2. Complementarity
- Complementary partners preferred closer interpersonal relationship than non-complementary ones.. People were more attracted to peers approximating to their ideal self than to those who did not.. This is basically saying he/she completes me.. Although similarity and complementary contradicts on the surface, they agree on a dimension of warmth.. In short, similarity depends on initial attraction whereas complementary develops over time..

3. Social Exchange Theory (Familiarity)
- People's feelings toward a potential partner are dependent on their perception of rewards and costs, the kind of relationships they deserve, and their likelihood for having a healthier relationship with someone else. Rewards are the part of a relationship that makes it worthwhile and enjoyable. A cost is something that can cause irritation like a friend overstaying his welcome. Comparison level is also taken into account during a relationship. This suggests that people expect rewards or costs depending on the time invested in the relationship. If the level of expected rewards are minimal and the level of costs is high, the relationship suffers and both parties may become dissatisfied and unhappy. Lastly, the comparison of alternatives means that satisfaction is conditional on the chance that a person could replace the relationship with a more desirable one.

4. Reciprocal Liking
- Reciprocal liking is an effect of where a person who is liked by another will tend to return that liking.. It reflects the notion that people enjoy the company of those who give them positive feelings because of the self-fulfilling prophecy..

*The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation evoking a new behaviour which makes the original false conception come 'true'. This specious validity of the self-fulfilling prophecy perpetuates a reign of error. For the prophet will cite the actual course of events as proof that he was right from the very beginning*

5. Propinquity
- The propinquity effect is the tendency for people to form friendships or romantic relationships with those whom they encounter often.. In other words, proximity or closeness.. An unprecedented situation may occur and you tend to develop feelings towards the person.. The feelings of easiness or comfort when you meet someone more often.. The way a person treats you.. Every single detail matters..

6. Physical Attraction
- "That girl/guy is cute.. I want to get to know her".. How often do we feel this way when we meet people? Besides that, there are females who preferred big guys since they feel safer with them.. Some hot guys prefer non-hot type girls instead.. Even a young girl may fall in love with an old guy and vice versa.. It's simply the perception of the physical traits of an individual human person as pleasing or beautiful.. It can include various implications, such as sexual attractiveness and physique.. To sum it all, "Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder"..

Platonic friendship.. The first I've heard about this phrase was a few days ago.. Different gender being best friends without developing any feelings.. Well, it might have a little bit of feeling to some of them at first.. But slowly, the thought that it would never work out between us or she's not meant for me arise.. It's like the heart is rejecting what it truly desires.. Somehow, being friends, best friends are better off than being couples.. No obligations or responsibilities of belonging to someone.. And still, when you need someone to talk to or ask opinion, they are always there to listen and give their point of view..

However, there are cases where platonic friendship evolves into marriage.. 2 person may be in love for a looooonnnggg time.. In the end, they ended up marrying their best friend instead.. From my point of view, there's no such thing as "No FEELING friendship".. There will always be feelings for another but what type of feelings? When we talk about love, well, other than love at first sight(or chat in some cases), doesn't it always start with friendship? Do give your comments on this ^^