Monday, October 18, 2010


This would be one of my simplest post ever..

"If you don't like something, change it.. If you can't change it, change your attitude.. Don't complain.."

So asks yourselves.. What have you been doing?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Types Of Love

Is it really love you're feeling? How sure are you? If it is, then what type?

Sternberg's component of love

Do you feel the intimacy? How about the passion? Even so, what of the commitment?

The three components, pictorially labeled on the vertices of a triangle, interact with each other and with the actions they produce and with the actions that produce them so as to form seven different kinds of love experiences (nonlove is not represented).. The size of the triangle functions to represent the "amount" of love - the bigger the triangle the greater the love.. The shape of the triangle functions to represent the "type" of love, which may vary over the course of the relationship:

Nonlove is the absence of all three of Sternberg's components of love..

Liking/friendship in this case is not used in a trivial sense.. Sternberg says that this intimate liking characterizes true friendships, in which a person feels a bond, a warmth, and a closeness with another but not intense passion or long-term commitment..

Infatuated love is pure passion.. Romantic relationships often start out as infatuated love and become romantic love as intimacy develops over time.. Without developing intimacy or commitment, infatuated love may disappear suddenly..

Empty love is characterized by commitment without intimacy or passion.. Sometimes, a stronger love deteriorates into empty love.. In cultures in which arranged marriages are common, relationships may begin as empty love and develop into one of the other forms..

Romantic love bonds individuals emotionally through intimacy and physically through passionate arousal, but neither is sustained without commitment..

Companionate love is an intimate, non-passionate type of love that is stronger than friendship because of the element of long-term commitment.. Sexual desire is not an element of companionate love.. This type of love is often found in marriages in which the passion has gone out of the relationship but a deep affection and commitment remain.. The love ideally shared between family members is a form of companionate love, as is the love between close friends who have a platonic but strong friendship..

Fatuous love can be exemplified by a whirlwind courtship and marriage in which a commitment is motivated largely by passion without the stabilizing influence of intimacy..

Consummate love is the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship toward which people strive.. Of the seven varieties of love, consummate love is theorized to be that love associated with the “perfect couple”.. Such couples will continue fifteen years or more into the relationship, they can not imagine themselves happy over the long-term with anyone else, they overcome their few difficulties gracefully, and each delight in the relationship with one other.. Maintaining a consummate love may be even harder than achieving it.. He stresses the importance of translating the components of love into action.. Without expression, even the greatest of loves can die.. Thus, consummate love may not be permanent.. If passion is lost over time, it may change into companionate love..

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Why Not Be Not Single? How to Make Time for Romance

Connecting with your partner emotionally and physically is a soothing balm for our frazzled lives.. A foot massage and a sympathetic ear give us the chance to recharge our selves and our love lives.. But after a long day of putting out fires at work,handling numerous phone calls, writing up that report, shuttling the kids back and forth, cooking, doing laundry, walking the dog, etc., etc.- the last thing on your mind is romance.. With so much competing for our attention it is easy to focus on everything but each other.. So, how do you find the time to connect with your sweetie? Make intimacy a habit just like your morning coffee and bagel by adding it into your daily routine..

1. Compliment each other on the things you like and appreciate about each other every day.. Let your partner know that he/she is in your thoughts and in your heart..

2. Create your own simple rituals that show that you care about each other.. Find a way to connect during the day with a note, a phone call, or an email..

3. Listen without giving advice, taking responsibility, or trying to "fix" things.. Let your mate enjoy the luxury of knowing that you are really listening.. Only give feedback if your mate asks for it..

4. Talk to each other about what's going on in your lives besides the day-to-day running of the household or office talk.. Share what you are feeling..

5. Hold each other.. A simple hug can do wonders..

6. Instead of the standard, "How was your day?" exchange, pick at least one good thing about your day and share it with each other..

7. Give each other a kiss when coming and going..

8. Laugh together - often..

9. Plan a regular "date" night once a week..

10. Say the words "I love you"..

You may be thinking that your relationship is the one thing in your hectic life that is stress-free, so why change things? While there is a certain level of comfort and predictability in a long-term relationship, the danger is that you may stop listening and may stop "being there" for your relationship.. Knowing your mate inside and out can also give both of you the illusion that you can read each other's minds.. And this can lead to misunderstandings which, when piled on top of each other, can lead to relationship disasters..

Talk to each other.. Listen.. Ask questions.. Don't assume.. As you continue to grow and change as an individual, so will your relationship.. Keep the lines of communication open by not tuning each other out.. This doesn't just apply to verbal communication either.. If your mate feels more like a roommate than a lover, perhaps you should incorporate more "togetherness" into your daily routines.. Love is in the little things, in the day-to-day details of our lives..

Good luck everyone ;)

Sunday, October 10, 2010

New Song!

Thanks to one of the games that I recently play, I found this song.. A great game with a great song.. Enjoy! ;)

Friday, October 8, 2010

The Time Has Come....

The Last Poem..
The instant you stood before me..
I love your stare..
Though I cried yesterday..
Today because of you..
Tomorrow I'll be happy..

It's not your face...
It's not your coolness, no no..
All I needed was a soft love..

All the days that past..
I'll forget it..
Without you not even a day..
Only love..
All that I know is love..

It's time to close this chapter and start a new one instead.. My life have taught me one vital thing and that is: I came into this world alone.. I shall leave it alone.. And, if I have to live in it alone, so be it! I contend to live it in peace with myself..

A few days ago, I hung out with some of my friends.. We went for karaoke at Putrajaya from 11-1.. And then, we resumed karaoke-ing at Sri Kembangan.. There were 8 of us.. After that, we went for a drink.. Here's where the interesting part is..

One of my friends, had a really wonderful memory over the last few days.. Well, it was written on her blog, thus, lots of question arise then.. So there was a QnA session as we were having a drink.. And it ended up with her saying that she's afraid to go out with that guy again, coz she's afraid that she might get hurt again..

Well, we did understand that she doesn't wanna get hurt again.. But then, for how long should this continue on? Eventually, one will have to take the risk instead.. Just my point of view, why not now? Even closed door can be opened, correct?

"A real man doesn't make love to a million women.. A real man makes love to one women a million ways.."
Understand it.. Live it!

Life is full of risk.. The way we live our lives exposes us to some that we accept
almost without thinking, as part of daily living.. Everyone has read statistics about automobile accidents, but we still use our cars.. Why? Many people smoke even though they have heard thousands of times that it poses a risk of lung cancer and emphysema.. As human, we tend to exaggerate the risk associated with unfamiliar things, and underestimate the risk of familiar things..

Regarding love, it's basically the same.. Each option, each opportunity lies an inescapable risk.. The risk of getting rejected, the risk of getting hurt, the risk of getting dumped.. So many risks.. However, why do we always see the negative side of things?? Look at it this way.. What about taking the risk to be happy once in a while? The risk of finding your significant other? The risk of becoming successful? The risk of finding love?

There is no such thing as a total lost in this world.. Because even if you think that you lose something, you are actually gaining something else in exchange.. Don’t look at a relationship that didn’t work out as a failure.. Often it’s an imagined "failure" that fuels you to the success you’ve always dreamed of..

“To love is to risk not being loved in return.. To hope is to risk pain.. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”

So, I ask this question to you.. What have you been risking? Are you totally being conservative? Are you standing still, when everyone around you is practically moving? Just remember, for as long as there's a will to achieve something, there will surely be a way.. There's no point in living life that has no risk-taking..

Monday, October 4, 2010


Looking back on the things I've done as I grow up.. It's quite hilarious.. All the things I've done.. If given the chance, I'd like to do certain things all over again.. Since I know I could do them better..

Growing up.. Yes there are a lot of unforgettable memories, however, one thing that I do not understand with parents nowadays.. They are so caught-up with earning money, that they forgot the most essential thing in raising a child.. The moments shared amongst them.. The hardships that they have to go through.. I'm not saying that it's not okay to keep earning money.. However, I believe that, by spending more time with their children, they can form their personalities accordingly..

Imagine a child, being brought up by maids, who hardly see his parents since they're too busy working their ass off, will become spoiled and hardly know the meaning of "family"..

But then, everyone has their own way to raise their children.. Who are we to judge.. Only they know what they've done, when they see the results.. which is what has become of the child they brought up...