How to Get a Boyfriend (for ladies)

1. Be realistic. :- Women who seem to be on a money hunt -- that is, looking exclusively for men with big bucks -- they'll have to change their attitude if their goal is a long-term relationship. Men can sense right away if you're out for their wallet, not their personality." In the long run, the most priceless attributes you should want in a mate are not looks and/or money but a loving heart, dependable nature and commitment to you.

2. Be a hot mama, not a prospective mama. :- Men have a radar for detecting women who are baby hungry. In other words, desperate for marriage. Your best bet: no baby talk!

3. Make dating a priority. :- to always be prepared because you never know when or where you'll meet someone. Wear clothes that make you feel attractive and plan ahead for interesting conversation. Don't get your newspaper delivered. You might meet someone at the newsstand. Get out there and start dating!

4. Nix the ex talk. :- On the first few dates, remove the desire to tell the new man all about the previous boyfriend. If your ex was fabulous, your date will feel he can't measure up. Similarly, you should be wary of a man who can't stop talking about his former paramour.

5. Neurotics needn't apply. :- You both need to be emotionally healthy to forge a successful relationship. It's not a good sign if you're in the relationship primarily because you're frightened of being alone. Don't fall into the codependent trap and think you can "heal" him. It's smarter to look for a man who doesn't need healing.

6. Mind your manners. :- Men are understandably appalled when their bright, attractive, funny date suddenly does something tacky like ripping a piece of bread in half and putting the other half back in the bread basket or applying lipstick at the table. Men also find it gauche when the woman calls for the check. The man wants to do the summoning of the waiter and the paying of the bill. Be on time, shut off your cell phone, look him in the eye, not down at the floor. Don't ask him too many questions about his job. He'll think you're a gold digger. If you display the sensitivity of a lamppost, don't be surprised if the first date is the last one!

7. Similarity breeds success. :- This doesn't mean you've got to marry your clone. But when you're getting to know someone, ask yourself if you and he have the same core values. And think really hard if your major life goals mix well. These are things that you can start finding out in as little as a date or two.

8. Present a challenge. :- Let the guy know you like him, but don't take his initial interest as a signal to latch on to him right away! Three dates do not make a relationship. Don't hesitate to return his call in a timely fashion. But don't build your social life around him and don't press him to talk about his "feelings."Do make it clear that while he's a welcome addition to your life, he is not the whole enchilada

9. Don't be a babbling brook. :- Sure, you've got a host of charming stories, but save some for the second date. Men really want to occasionally get a word in edgewise. Women should pace themselves and think of about two to three great stories to tell on their date. But don't go overboard talking about yourself!

10. Sunny side up. :- Guys say that many women clearly don't want their date to give them a hug or open the door. Lower your guard, flex those lips into a smile and be nice!

11. Be a girl. :- Leave your professional persona at the office! Guys often complain that women often come across as masculine -- dressing in stiff suits and debating their date on everything from what wine to order to world affairs to who gets the check. (Let him.) Come on! It's a date! Not a boxing match.

12. Look beyond his good looks. :- Don't be dazzled by a handsome face and buff bod. Is this guy worthy of winning your heart? "How good is he at relationships? How does he treat his mother? How does he get along with siblings, cousins and friends?" If the answer to those questions is not too well, take heed. Once he is confident of your affections, he might revert to type and treat you like everyone else he "cares" about.

13. Be mindful of that ole black magic. :- At first glance you felt more of an urge to hold his hand than jump his bones? That's not a terrible sign; Physical attraction can deepen as you really get to know and trust each other. But there must be an ember of initial attraction to build from. Without any chemistry you're better off as friends.

14. Hold out before having sex. Spindel is adamant that you should forego sex at least for a little while. The matchmaker feels that until your guy is ready to commit at least part of his soul, you're better off not committing your entire body. Her rationale: "Ideally you should wait until you've had the discussion about not seeing other people. That way you're sure he's operating more out of love than lust."


15. Go with the flow. :- The real key to making it as a couple is that both people are willing to compromise. If one or both partners must always have their way and are threatened by even small changes, trouble will soon be brewing. For example, if he suddenly has to work late on a night you were hoping to cook him dinner, be understanding of his need to be flexible and have him come over for coffee instead of the main course. Of course, he should be really sorry for the change in plans and should want to make it up to you.