1. Men who are hawt and rich fall in love with vulgar, outspoken women.
2. If you are a girl and have a best guy friend, he’s definitely in love with you.
3. Brothers/best friends/schoolmates/enemies always love the same girl.
4. You’re allowed to make U-turns anywhere in Korea. And there’s never traffic (or a single vehicle) on the side you want to turn to.
5. You get to run out of a restaurant without paying the bill. All you have to do is slap someone and storm out in tears.
6. Everyone has cancer.
7. You’ll get a flu/cold/fever after getting caught in the rain for 5 minutes.
8. When you’re sick, your boyfriend carries you on his back and races to the hospital. He hasn’t even heard of taxi/buses/hitching a ride.
9. Somebody gets into the pool/ocean with their clothes on.
10. If you’re rich, you’re an bubble gum.
11. If you’re poor, you’re an angel.
12. Your brother is a retard. If said brother is a real (blood-related) one, he is a lazy, stupid, irresponsible bum who exists by leeching off you. He’s not even handsome.
13. You’re not studying hard enough unless you get a nosebleed.
14. If you have a nosebleed, it’s most definitely cancer. And you have no money to pay for the surgery that’ll save your life. And your liver is missing. The doctors are not sure where it went, but it’s making your cancer progress faster.
15. You always order orange juice or coffee at a cafe. And you never drink it. EVER.
16. If two people are talking confidentially, they will leave the door of the room ajar so that a third party will eavesdrop on the conversation.
17. You go to America and you come back miraculously successful. You go to England and you come back amazingly fashionable. You stay in Korea and the only thing that’s changed is your hairstyle.
18. And you come back to Korea because you have cancer.
19. Everyone goes to the same hospital no matter where they are.
20. Even if you’re poor and can’t eat, you never wear the same clothes twice.
21. If you play a poor kid, you always have dirt on your face and your hair is always messy.
22. If you’re saving someone from being hit by a speeding car, you’ll push them out of the way and wait for the car to hit you instead.
23. Everyone has a long lost sister/brother/twin.
24. If you don’t want to answer your lover’s call, you can’t turn it off. You’ve got to take out the battery.
25. All Korean men can drink hard, smoke long, sing well and play the piano. Usually all at the same time, at the same restaurant that has a piano. The girlfriend doesn’t know this until she sees him playing the piano at night.
26. If you’re in a relationship, you must, at one point, leave the country and have your lover tearfully come RIGHT before you board the plane (vice versa applies as well. You can be the chaser.) 60% of the time you meet each other, and 40% you’re roaming around in circles in pass each other about 6 times. But you don’t see each other.
27. If you’re getting off a plane, you’re always wearing sunglasses.
28. All guys wear hideous tracksuits zipped up to their neck. Even if they’re only doing jump-roping.
29. Girls will always storm off because they’re mad. The guy will stoically grab them by them arm and swing them back – by magic, not dislocate their shoulders.
30. If you hit your head in a traffic accident, you might lose your memory. But don’t worry, you will get it back when you hit your head a second time.
31. Surprises ALWAYS backfire.
32. There will be situations in an elevator and in a toilet. In the elevator, you gotta get stuck with the bastard you’re trying to avoid. In the toilet scene, there’s a high probability you get caught by that bastard you’re trying to avoid.
33. Or most likely because you’re in the men’s toilet.
34. Unless you’re fabulously rich, your in-laws will always hate you.
35. So will your sister-in-law.
36. Your brother-in-law might have a crush on you.
37. There are only 2 ways to kiss. You either press your lips against theirs with your mouth completely shut in a long and comfortable kiss, OR you devour the other person and suck their soul out. In both instances, the world spins.
38. If a car ever breaks down or runs out of gas, it will happen on a small rural road with no other traffic, late at night. The area will also have no cellphone coverage, and you gotta walk the whole 10 miles back to civilisation in your 5-inch heels.
39. If you want 2 rooms in a hotel, only one will be available, and that one room will only have one bed.
40. You’ll get pregnant the first time you have sex.
41. You’ll get pregnant if he kisses you on the forehead.
42. Hell – you’ll get pregnant if you hold hands.
43. If you overcome great obstacles to be together, one of you must die. Probably due to cancer.
44. A guy and a girl on a bus must sit in the rear next to the right-hand window. A lone girl/guy sitting at that spot will reminisce about the time when he/she did have someone sitting beside him/her.
45. One man can kick the butts of 6 gangsters, especially when they all stand in a circle and attack the guy 1 by 1. When each of them get their butts PWNED, they wise up and attack the guy at the same time. Then the guy will get pulverized and bleed out onto the dusty concrete floor of the empty warehouse they found to fight in. And the girl will have watched this the entire time, screaming in horror. Instead of calling 119, she’ll just watch and cry. But it’s okay. Because the next day the guy will be fine with a few random bandages and a few scars on the face. But never a black eye.
46. Good girls don’t drive cars. Bad girls do. Well, a good girl just might drive, but she will do it so badly it’s a wonder she was ever given a license.
47. Rich people live in mansions surrounded by brick walls. The others live in shacks atop high buildings in downtown Seoul, or in hillside slums on the outskirts of the city.
48. Korean schools and universities suck. To study anything serious, you must go abroad.
49. If you study in the States (preferably Harvard), you are one of the top students and you can speak perfect English (as assumed by the reactions of those around you). Why the rest of the world OUTSIDE the TV can’t understand a single word uttered in your melodramatic voice is beyond me.
50. For one reason or another, a guy comes out of the bathroom naked/chest bared. Utterly shocked, you cover your eyes while screaming and pointing at him, while the guy screams along and covers his… nipples?
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Like? or Want?
What behaviors can YOU implement that are known to make the women that YOU DESIRE MOST to want you?
First of all, it’s time for a small but important distinction. Be aware: there is a difference between LIKING and WANTING.
A woman can like you perfectly fine, and still not be ATTRACTED to you. (Hint: this is called ‘friendship’.)
Unfortunately, a lot of guys TRY to create ‘attraction’, when in fact, what they’re ACTUALLY doing is creating FRIENDSHIP.
Many guys attempt to do things for a woman which (he thinks) will make her want him …
… but which, in actual fact, do nothing but broadcast his COMPLETE lack of perceived control over the situation, his DESPERATION to effect a certain ‘end’, and his cluelessness about ‘how attraction works’.
Such men include those who preface a conversation with a female counterpart with the words, ‘Hey, can I buy you a drink?’ and ‘You’re pretty’ …
… as well as guys who assume the ‘therapist’ role (hearing all about the ex, the guys who’ve ‘done her wrong’, and about the guy she’s currently seeing) …
… as well as guys who ROLL OVER and play ‘dead’ for a woman (being the chauffeur, buying her stuff, putting up with weird behavior and temper tantrums, and generally pandering to the idea that SHE is in control and YOU are supplicating to her.)
Fortunately, there are many women out there who have too much self-respect, compassion, and BETTER OPTIONS than to encourage that kind of behavior from men …
… but on the other, less-fortunate hand, such women DO exist who WILL accept (and in fact, blatantly orchestrate) such behavior … some, who even EXPECT IT.
Such women are toxic, and you would do well to avoid all interactions with them. Sex is not a valid currency in the mind of ANY man who has a modicum of value.
So here’s the point: those are the kind of women who ‘like you’ (or appear to) rather than actually WANTING YOU.
(They are also, often, the kinds of women who believe that ‘men are rats’, that they’re only out to ‘get one thing from a woman’, and that your funds are a valid exchange for such shreds of time and fleshliness as she’s prepared to throw your way.)
… and let’s be honest here. Most of the time, that fleshliness is REFERRED to often, but rarely actually MATERIALIZES. So she’ll hint, infer, and otherwise make you THINK that you’re maybe going to get a ‘reward’ for all your troubles … but it almost NEVER actually HAPPENS.
There is an important lesson here: if you want to make a woman WANT you, you have got to be in control of yourself, and not seem DESPERATE.
The easiest way not to seem desperate is, of course, to actually not BE desperate. And the best way to genuinely avoid desperation is to actually HAVE OPTIONS when it comes to women and dating.
If you ever catch yourself feeling as though you’d ‘do anything’ for a woman just to have her hang around, she will SENSE it and be repelled.
Why?
Because women don’t like weak, needy men who are OK with receiving poor treatment simply to bask in her presence.
Power corrupts. And absolute power corrupts absolutely.
So lesson one: don’t give away your power. Don’t supplicate. Don’t beg. Don’t be desperate. For now, put your attention on the necessity of not ‘faking’ anything (i.e. not having to PRETEND not to be needy or desperate, while all along your heart’s hammering away and your palms are sweating because this is Your Big Chance)
… and of actually HAVING OPTIONS.
A few solid guidelines:
Don’t be on call for her.-
Don’t drop everything for her.-
Don’t wait for her to validate you.-
Don’t offer to purchase anything or expend any resources in order to talk to her - or see her. (If taking girls out is something you already do for fun, then fine. But if you’re doing it because you want her to ‘like you’, then consider that your first red flag and drop that behavior like a hot potato.)
Don’t be the one she calls ONLY when she ‘needs something’. -
Be a man, not a puppy-dog. -
But enough with the doom and gloom. So now you know how to make a woman ‘like’ you as opposed to ‘want’ you …
… so how do you flip the coin? How do you make her WANT YOU?
Is it looks?
Is it wealth?
Is it confidence?
Is it power?
All those things are part of it, but they’re not THE SINGLE MOST FUNDAMENTAL THING.
I want you to think deeper than what everyone else is telling you. Think deeper than ‘conventional wisdom.’
What is the single most fundamental thing that a woman wants in a sexual partner?
Think about it…
What’s the one thing she HAS to have?
I can tell you straight off that it isn’t looks. There are plenty of average-looking guys with beautiful women in their lives.
And quality women don’t tend to be overly impressed by wealth.
Confidence is definitely a big one, but it’s still not ESSENTIAL a full 100% of the time, with 100% of women.
… so WHAT IS IT?
Here goes: the MOST important thing that a woman needs in order to WANT YOU is …
… that you are a MAN.
First of all, it’s time for a small but important distinction. Be aware: there is a difference between LIKING and WANTING.
A woman can like you perfectly fine, and still not be ATTRACTED to you. (Hint: this is called ‘friendship’.)
Unfortunately, a lot of guys TRY to create ‘attraction’, when in fact, what they’re ACTUALLY doing is creating FRIENDSHIP.
Many guys attempt to do things for a woman which (he thinks) will make her want him …
… but which, in actual fact, do nothing but broadcast his COMPLETE lack of perceived control over the situation, his DESPERATION to effect a certain ‘end’, and his cluelessness about ‘how attraction works’.
Such men include those who preface a conversation with a female counterpart with the words, ‘Hey, can I buy you a drink?’ and ‘You’re pretty’ …
… as well as guys who assume the ‘therapist’ role (hearing all about the ex, the guys who’ve ‘done her wrong’, and about the guy she’s currently seeing) …
… as well as guys who ROLL OVER and play ‘dead’ for a woman (being the chauffeur, buying her stuff, putting up with weird behavior and temper tantrums, and generally pandering to the idea that SHE is in control and YOU are supplicating to her.)
Fortunately, there are many women out there who have too much self-respect, compassion, and BETTER OPTIONS than to encourage that kind of behavior from men …
… but on the other, less-fortunate hand, such women DO exist who WILL accept (and in fact, blatantly orchestrate) such behavior … some, who even EXPECT IT.
Such women are toxic, and you would do well to avoid all interactions with them. Sex is not a valid currency in the mind of ANY man who has a modicum of value.
So here’s the point: those are the kind of women who ‘like you’ (or appear to) rather than actually WANTING YOU.
(They are also, often, the kinds of women who believe that ‘men are rats’, that they’re only out to ‘get one thing from a woman’, and that your funds are a valid exchange for such shreds of time and fleshliness as she’s prepared to throw your way.)
… and let’s be honest here. Most of the time, that fleshliness is REFERRED to often, but rarely actually MATERIALIZES. So she’ll hint, infer, and otherwise make you THINK that you’re maybe going to get a ‘reward’ for all your troubles … but it almost NEVER actually HAPPENS.
There is an important lesson here: if you want to make a woman WANT you, you have got to be in control of yourself, and not seem DESPERATE.
The easiest way not to seem desperate is, of course, to actually not BE desperate. And the best way to genuinely avoid desperation is to actually HAVE OPTIONS when it comes to women and dating.
If you ever catch yourself feeling as though you’d ‘do anything’ for a woman just to have her hang around, she will SENSE it and be repelled.
Why?
Because women don’t like weak, needy men who are OK with receiving poor treatment simply to bask in her presence.
Power corrupts. And absolute power corrupts absolutely.
So lesson one: don’t give away your power. Don’t supplicate. Don’t beg. Don’t be desperate. For now, put your attention on the necessity of not ‘faking’ anything (i.e. not having to PRETEND not to be needy or desperate, while all along your heart’s hammering away and your palms are sweating because this is Your Big Chance)
… and of actually HAVING OPTIONS.
A few solid guidelines:
Don’t be on call for her.-
Don’t drop everything for her.-
Don’t wait for her to validate you.-
Don’t offer to purchase anything or expend any resources in order to talk to her - or see her. (If taking girls out is something you already do for fun, then fine. But if you’re doing it because you want her to ‘like you’, then consider that your first red flag and drop that behavior like a hot potato.)
Don’t be the one she calls ONLY when she ‘needs something’. -
Be a man, not a puppy-dog. -
But enough with the doom and gloom. So now you know how to make a woman ‘like’ you as opposed to ‘want’ you …
… so how do you flip the coin? How do you make her WANT YOU?
Is it looks?
Is it wealth?
Is it confidence?
Is it power?
All those things are part of it, but they’re not THE SINGLE MOST FUNDAMENTAL THING.
I want you to think deeper than what everyone else is telling you. Think deeper than ‘conventional wisdom.’
What is the single most fundamental thing that a woman wants in a sexual partner?
Think about it…
What’s the one thing she HAS to have?
I can tell you straight off that it isn’t looks. There are plenty of average-looking guys with beautiful women in their lives.
And quality women don’t tend to be overly impressed by wealth.
Confidence is definitely a big one, but it’s still not ESSENTIAL a full 100% of the time, with 100% of women.
… so WHAT IS IT?
Here goes: the MOST important thing that a woman needs in order to WANT YOU is …
… that you are a MAN.
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