A Sudden Change In Life..

Today was the hardest day for me yet.. I'm not sure why every kiss i see pointed me to my old memories.. It's been, exactly.. 1 year and 1 month since i had my last real kiss.. why does it still hurt so bad remembering her.. Moving on, how does one really do it? Even with advises, encouragement from friend, family and even strangers, I still have problems forgetting about her.. I don't know why I still can't forget about her.. Althought it's in my nature to forgive and forget, this is THE ONLY thing that I have yet to FnF.. Somehow, AGAIN, I wonder.. What does love is all about? What love really is? Why do people say they're in love with you and the next thing you know, they betray you?

When I've lost all hope and faith about love, a friend told me, made me remember of how great love truly is..

Love is not natural! It's not something that will exist in a snap of a finger.. It has to be nurtured.. It will develop over time.. In all, almost all love start with friendship.. Start by showing someone you care for them.. It's better than to hope that someone will eventually fall in love with you..

All the things I've mentioned.. are easier said than done.. Well, it's true that I've lost my faith.. But it's not the end of the line just yet!

"If you can't have faith, rely on your heart.. No matter how weak, do what is most right on your end.. Control yourself or be controlled.. There is no one stronger than yourself, not me, not your parents, not the world.. Always remember that.. Your life.. Your whole world is your choice.. your decision.. There is no buts! No hesitation! The world will still move on even if you say no or yes.. Don't ever let others choose your path.. Choose your own path.. Be it good or bad.. At the very least, you know in your heart I have went the path I've chosen"

Life.. is like.. Getting or mining for a diamond.. Getting a diamond.. you can't get to choose the size you want.. Mining for one, at the very least, you can choose the size.. And of course, if you mined the biggest one, you can't expect anything else bigger..

As I looked back into the past, what I've been doing was just waiting for that someone special (while letting myself rot of course).. Suddenly, it hit me.. Even when that someone special comes, she's not gonna help me up..

Everything starts from within me.. Thus, I've made my decision.. I'm gonna stop studying for a while.. As of February 21st, 2008, I am no longer an MMU student.. I would like to say thanks to all my friends who have been very supportive.. However, this is something I must do by myself... I'm not gonna wait for a miracle anymore.. Instead, I'm gonna make my own miracles happen! Wish me luck :)