Friendzone ?

I know it's been quite some time since I last wrote on my blog. Life's been busy for me.. Even now, sleepless  nights has literally struck me again. Allow me to share with you what's on my thought for the last few weeks.

I finally realized that how to avoid the dreaded friendzone is a topic that's frequently discussed.. In fact, it may be discussed just a bit TOO much.

I'm going to share with you a realization that came to me during a recent phone call with a friend:

When venturing into the friendzone, unexpectedly, there's a certain type of conversation that u have to recognize. "Just Be Friends" to be exact.. And let me tell you.. Not All "JBF" Talks Are Created Equal..

And you've GOT to be able to tell the difference.!

This is actually not necessarily so you can GET OUT of the "JBF FriZone" once you're in it..  That's a very, very tough spot to get out of once the proverbial damage is done..

Instead, it's so you can once and for all figure out HOW and WHY women are exiling you there to begin with.. That way, you can better AVOID landing there in the future..

You see, most guys who hear the "JBF Talk" tend to hear it REPEATEDLY.. It tends to be a recurring sticking point..

In other words, once you've been "friendzoned" by someone, there's a probability that it will happen again.

That's due to the simple truth that almost every single time a woman lowers the dreaded "JBF" boom, it's because there's NO ATTRACTION felt by her towards the guy she's delivering the awkward news to.

Ironically, some of us fail to recognize that women are attracted to MASCULINITY...even as we FULLY recognize that it's a woman's femininity that makes her sexually attractive to us.

Masculinity + Femininity = Sexual Polarity.

Without sexual polarity, there's no such thing as "attraction".. Therefore, when we position ourselves as "neuter" human beings, we mess up the equation.

So then, if almost ALL "JBF Talks" happen for the same central reason, how are there TWO types of them?

Ah, yes.. That's a great question.

And I truly believe that you've likely never heard what I'm about to tell you before because it often requires an eye for subtlety to detect the difference between the two..

Here's the deal..

Make no mistake, the WORDS THEMSELVES that a woman might use will be similar, no matter what..

"I think we should just be friends."

"I'm just not feeling it."

"I don't want to ruin our friendship."

And let us not forget this classic (although we'd most definitely like to):

"You're more like a brother to me."

What you've got to discern is her EMOTIONAL STATE when she's telling you these sorts of things.

Is she sort of sullen or tentative, as if she almost feels sorry for you? Do you feel a bit patronized, as if she has the "upper hand" on you?

And what about YOUR emotional state? Do you feel helpless, if not hopeless?

As a direct result of that, have you suddenly gone from being practically in love with her to resenting her or even almost hating her in one fell swoop?

If so, you're experiencing a "Type 1 JBF Talk", defined as follows:

She doesn't feel attraction for you, and NEVER DID...even though she tried to talk herself into it."

Meanwhile, a "Type 2 JBF Talk" is different. You sense that somehow SHE is the one feeling resentment.  There's a certain frustration in her voice as she's speaking.

And unfortunately, YOU'RE the one who, oddly, begins to feel "sorry".. Maybe you don't feel sorry for HER, exactly, but you feel sorry that the scenario is unfolding as it is.

In this case, it's not so much that you feel helpless, per se, but rather that you know you blew it and wish you could get a "do over".

That's because a "Type 2 JBF Talk" signals the hard truth that she at one time DID feel attraction for you, but LOST IT.

Importantly, women almost always WANT attraction to happen when they go on a date with us.

While a "Type 1 JBF Talk" might often happen when no real "dating" has actually occurred between parties, a "Type 2 JBF Talk" is more typical after at least a first date has happened.

So if you've been hearing your share of "JBF talks" lately, ask yourself which type they are.

If they're "Type 1" your task at hand is to do a better job of reflecting masculinity as women define it. This may be something you'll need to work on in general, not just when around attractive women.

But if you're sensing that "Type 2" is what you're encountering, then you've probably got a good handle on how to BE MASCULINE already.

The challenge for you then becomes to keep doing what you did at the beginning to attract a woman.

Don't change your pace or your demeanor as you start liking a woman more. This can often happen due to a sense of panic over potentially losing her.

Therefore, you start "chasing" more than "choosing".

Can you see how knowing the difference between the two types of "JBF Talks" can dramatically increase your power to avoid them to begin with?

Attract women, keep them attracted, and thereby stand as a man who is in control of his relationships with women.  That way, if any "JBF Talks" prove necessary, it'll be YOU who's giving them.

5 Things Unmarried Couples Should NOT Share

As taken from 5 Things Unmarried Couples Should NOT Share on Yahoo!..

While you remain blissfully unmarried, you'll be happy to know that some things you are not required to share with your significant other. Good news, huh? Whether you're into sharing or not, you're entirely entitled to set ground rules when it comes to certain things and what's more, it'll likely yield a healthier and more mature relationship. Here are just five (I am sure there are more) things you should not share with your boyfriend or girlfriend. 1. Money This is a tricky one, especially if you've got joint expenses like a pet, bills or even an apartment. So before you talk about any plans to share expenses, consider first that money is one of the leading causes of divorce in America today. Ask yourself why. Oh, you're not married? So, why bother with one of the most stressful issues married couples deal with. While sharing money isn't a definitive "no can do," it's something to be carefully examined and not rushed into. 2. Passwords If you're young and in love then you're probably thinking that your significant other volunteering their password is the best way to gain trust. No - not unless they've violated before; in that case, it's one of the first things I'd tell you to do. You may or may not have anything to hide. Your inbox could consist of scoops on the latest Idol outcast, but it's your right to keep it to yourself. 3. Facebook Account No, not Facebook passwords, but Facebook accounts. You probably wouldn't believe it if I told you but there are actually some couples out there who have joint Facebook or other social networking accounts. Gag, right? It's more harmful than one would think. What you're telling the world is that you're one person. Social networks are meant to substantiate identity. The healthiest relationships are those made up of two individuals. 4. A Best Friend Having mutual friends is ordinary, but if you both set your stakes in the same best friend, issues can arise. Trio outings can be fun and dandy, but during arguments things can get competitive. Going to the same person for comfort or a venting session could leave the third party in an awkward situation. You may even force them to take sides! Then you've turned a tiny argument into World War III. Have your mutual friends, but if at all possible, have your own best friends or leave the one best friend out of it. 5. Conversations about Your Ex Hey, let the past be the past. Easier said than done, of course, but unrelenting conversations about your ex, whether positive or negative, can drive a wedge between you and yours. You're in a new relationship now, let go of the past and make the most of this one. If you can't, then you probably shouldn't be a new relationship.

No worries, not everything is off limits. Couples who share everyday things like razors and toothbrushes find it completely normal and not damaging to their relationship at all. Sharing allows you to open up to the other in unspoken ways and can only add to a relationship. Just the same, setting your boundaries fosters respect of the other individual also adding to the relationship.

Self-Respect

You're handsome. You're single. You have a great job. To your mom, aunts, and neighbors it makes no sense...how can a great guy like you still be single? They don't get it.

YOU have a simple explanation for it. Women don't like nice guys. Women like jerks. So as long as you're a nice guy, women are going to conveniently stick you in the "friend zone" within minutes of meeting you...and we all know there's no coming back once you're in the "friend zone..."

But is it because you're too nice?

Or is it because you don't respect yourself?

Male, female...it doesn't matter. In fact, I've watched men pass over "nice girls" for women who treat them badly. Traditionally we've all believed that it falls into the "we always want what we can't have" category but really it goes deeper than that.

It all has to do with YOU respecting YOURSELF.

Somebody who respects himself shows it. He walks with confidence, and when he meets someone new he projects the image that he can take her or leave her. If she wants his company, great...if not, her loss. He'll just move on and find someone who will appreciate him.

Nothing could be sexier than that.

Self-respect. If you don't respect you...how can you expect her to? If you consistently allow a woman to treat you badly, what will happen? she'll keep treating you badly. She'll walk all over you because you've already proven to her you're a doormat. Meanwhile, you'll stand around scratching your head, puzzling over why women always ignore nice guys.

Is it something you're sending out? Is it something you're doing, early on, that lets her know you have no self-respect? Maybe it's a little bit of both. Whatever the case, until you make the decision that you aren't going to be a doormat for women anymore...until you decide, once and for all, that you aren't going to settle for less than you deserve, you'll continue to attract people who walk all over you.

And yes...every bit of this advice applies to women too.

How to Text Right

How to pump her full of curiosity, intrigue, and desire, until she's picking up her phone and thumbing in a message (whether she wanted to or not)

Igniting Feelings of intense chemistry and connection, and has her trusting you.. Making her thinking of you, craving you, and even fantasizing about you.. Desperately waiting for your next message..

Most importantly, these texts quickly get meetups that turn into relationships!

In fact, you can even use these three texts to:

-Text your way out of the friend zone
-Jump-start things back up with a girl that is slipping away (without coming across as needy or desperate)
-Get a girl you just met chasing you, fighting for your attention, working to win you over

Even girls who has been sending icy cold one word responses will suddenly be eager to spend time with you

All because you will be using a very specific sequence of magnetic texts called "The Key Lock Sequence"

When you use these three texts, it's like pushing a key into a lock, turning, and awakening an exciting and fun side of her that she has hidden from all the other guys in her phone!

And the best part is, it works like clock.. "Rinse, Wash, Repeat" on any girl you meet, so you'll never struggle with what to write to a girl AGAIN!

The secret I'm about to reveal, you can even pull your phone out and use it immediately..

You may be thinking you have tried it all, and seen it all.. but you have never seen anything like this before...

And I promise, one tip is particular is going to shock you...

Before I get to that, I'd like to expose a dangerous "Myth of Attraction" that's stopping you from scoring more women right now..

"Attraction is Black or White"
That a woman either wants you or she doesn't..
She's attracted to you or she's not

But that's NOT how attraction works!

A woman's opinion of you, can change by the year, month, week, day and even by the hour!

The good news is, that even if you didn't make a stellar first impression, you can still win her over and get her wanted you..

Even if you're not her "type" of she only sees you as a "friend"

Even if you've sent her a horribly embarrassing text

And even if she's dating someone else and acts like you don't even exist

However, be aware that, just because a girl has given you her number, told you to call her, or has even been out on a date with you, DOES NOT automatically mean you will ever see her again

When she handed you her number, she did not sign a social contract agreeing to go out with you.. It just mean she was interested or attracted enough at the moment to give it to you..

In fact, when a woman hands you her number, she secretly wants you to win..
She wants you to flirt with her and she's hoping you won't mess things up!

Just don't make the fatal mistake of thinking that once a woman gives you her number, it's game over: you win!

The game has just actually began! There's a window of opportunity that begins closing the minute she gives you her number

Yes she was interested or attracted enough to give it to you.. but time is ticking like sand running through the hour glass

Women EXPECT things to happen quick when there is chemistry.. They expect to get swept away!
so the long it takes to get her out, the more she starts thinking there must not be anything there.. She might even begin to backward rationalize and start finding reasons you're not worth meeting up with and she starts getting annoyed at even the slightest mistakes like

-sending texts that come on too strong or appear needy
-sending her lame, boring, just another average guy texts
- or trying to send her something witty  that she just doesn't get
This is when she seems to go from hot, to cold, very quickly, losing interest and fizzling out..

As the window is closing, all the time texting back and forth is murdering your chances

In fact, you have a limited number of texts before this window closes for good and you never get her out
If you're not sending her the right texts, you're just spinning your wheels, and some other guy will get her out and win her heart

This is all base on experience

Now, if you're like I was, then you have probably experienced one of the two common scenarios..

The first: the Cinderella Effect
- You meet a girl at a bar, or a party, and she's totally into you and seems like  atotal sweetheart THE NIGHT YOU MET.. Maybe you'd even start imagining a relationship with her.. Planning future dates in your mind.. Bragging about her to your friends..
But, when you try to contact her afterwards, she turns into something else..

Whether she turns mean, cold, disinterested or just non-responsive, she's displaying the "Cinderella Effect"

And it feels downright humiliating when she doesn't respond..

Pulling your phone out of your pocket every five minutes checking to see if you missed her message.. You can almost imagine her laughing about your text with her friends! and then it's like she disappears off the face of the earth.. And you can't figure out where you messed up or what went wrong!

And the weird thing is, this is actually almost better than the next scenario. because at least you can take a hint and move on

-Scenario two I call:
 “The Texting Goofball”
This is where you turn into a “one trick pony“ always trying “too hard” to make her laugh and entertain her…
You think you’re really getting somewhere… She seems to LOL at everything you write… Even sends YOU random texts asking how you are…
Then Days, Weeks, Months go by playing “Textual Grab-ass” with her… Until you finally realize you’re just her “Text Buddy”…
And she NEVER wants to actually meet up…

So the big question is, how do you go from getting a woman's phone number to getting her out on a date?

How do you go from getting a woman’s phone number to getting her out on a date?
How do you use your phone to turn her on?
How do you do that…
Without losing her interest to another guy…
Without the attraction fizzling out after a few boring texts…
And without accidentally texting your way into the friend zone…
And more importantly…
Once you’ve hung out with her…
How do you continue to amplify the attraction, leave her wanting more, and have her eagerly anticipating the next time she’ll  wrap her legs around you…
All by sending a few simple texts from your cell phone?

To answer those questions I need to reveal a few simple truths about “Chemistry and Attraction” no one has told you before…
And show you how to “Jump Start” the spark that takes a woman who’s , lukewarm, indifferent or even losing interest… and suddenly has her eager to spend time with you…

Remember how I told you the Window of Opportunity is quickly closing?
The reason the window of opportunity is closing is because the emotion she felt towards you is fading… and you’re losing her attention.

Critical Point #1:
Emotions =  Attention
Any time you create an emotional state in a woman… you momentarily have her attention.

And the Window opens back up…
It gets even better…
Emotions also act as an “Attraction Anchor”
And re-ignite the “original” attraction she felt… (even if it has already started to slip away…)
You ever have a song start playing on the radio and bring back a flood of emotions… and suddenly that song has every ounce of your attention?
Now If you’ve sent her an “emotional text”… then any time she pulls out her phone you can get the SAME EXACT REACTION…

When a woman decides that she wants to meet up for a date..
I can pretty much guarantee it was not some “logical” decision she made based on careful thinking…
It was an emotional reaction she had to the text you sent…
Your goal is to spark an emotion, get her attention and turn that attention into a meet up as quickly as possible.
So what are the three texts that she’s practically powerless against?
In order to capture a woman attention, and create a “mental monopoly” where she can’t stop herself from meeting up with you…
She needs to receive three specific text messages…

1.  First, you send her an “emotional” text that stops her dead in her tracks and captures her attention and as her anticipating what comes next…
This text shows her that you’re different and exciting, and gets her seeing you as an attractive, fun, charismatic guy, and draws out her FLIRTATIOUS SIDE setting the tone for all your future interactions…
2.  Next, you need to bond with her in a way that has her imagining spending time with you in the future… And feeling an  “emotional connection” that goes beyond a “casual” flirtation…
This text shows her that she’s NOT just some random number in your phone… it lets her know that you “get her” and has her associating these warm good feelings to you…
3.  And finally, you plant the idea of being with you in her mind, so that she begins to crave and imagine it…
This text shows her that you’re the type of guy who makes it happen…  has her desperate to spend time with you…  And easily transitions to a meet up.

It is NOT your ability to spend days texting her interesting things, or convincing her you're a good guy who really likes her.. BUT it's your ability to monopolize her attention, anchor a strong emotional connection and send out texts that act like magnets drawing her closer toward you

And because time is always a factor, you need to do all of this in just three texts.. Most guys would make the mistake of thinking the more texts I send, the more of her attention I'll get.. I used to make that mistake too.. Hoping to stay on her mind I'd continually texts her things like:

"How was your day?"
"What are you up to?"
"Hope you got home safe"
"hey"
"Have fun tonight"

Not one of these texts creates any sort of emotion.. In fact, these texts would actually annoy her.. Keeping her attention is not about bombarding her phone with messages.. and it's also not about never texting her or following the "3 Day Rule" and waiting a specified amount of time before texting her again. As a result, your window of opportunity is closing and nothing will kill your chances faster than going M.I.A on her

Getting her attention is not about sending her a lot of texts.. Or following some stupid rules.. It's about sending her the RIGHT texts..

Here's what so great about the key lock sequence.. You can use it to

Quickly get a date with a girl you just met

Turn things around on a girl who is losing interest

Even spark things back up with a girl that got away

Because it can be adjusted for just any situation, and allows you to put girls on "texting auto-pilot".. This means never having to stand there like an idiot with your phone in your hand, with no clue on what to write.. You just sit back and let the sequence do the work.. By displaying this "Attractive Communication" it causes her to make a snap, shot judgment that you're a fun, cool guy and allows you to capitalize on this "attention" as quickly as possible and get her out while the pump is primed

What MEN wants!

I believe when women think that is all we want from them, that is all they get from the relationship.. I was intrigued by the responses I received and I decided to have a chat with a few guys.. I found out that we men want more than sex in a relationship.. These are what men want from a relationship and I think we should call it the men’s list..

The main thing guys want in a relationship is a woman with brains, someone to stimulate our thought process, someone to make us analyse our decisions.. We are attracted to a smart woman.. When a woman can hold a conversation on different subjects, it’s really attractive and we want to spend more time with them.. We guys have a saying which goes “the smarter the woman, the more likely she can manage a home”.. The only problem is women like this are hard to find these days, especially when most girls seem to spend their time trying to be the perfect Barbie look alike..

The next thing we want from a relationship is someone who is affectionate.. You have to know how to use kind, nice and sweet words.. We men like a polite woman.. You also have to be gentle, compose yourself in public and be polite.. If you try this with your man and it doesn’t work, maybe you are with the wrong guy..

Appearance does matter a lot to guys.. You don’t have to be a super model, but we love and appreciate a woman who puts in effort to look good.. We are not saying wear the most expensive things, but just look neat and clean..

Men love a woman with a good sense of humour, someone who can take the stresses of life away with her charm and personality.. Men love banter and a woman who can understand the male sense of humour will get a big thumbs up!

Being down to earth is also a big plus.. Don’t pretend to be Rihanna, Gaga or Beyonce because you are not and you will never be.. Just be yourself, let your personality shine and trust me you have nothing to worry about..

Be confident! Speak your mind and let the man know what you want.. If you don’t speak we won’t know how to behave or the things that you like.. Remember, we men do not know how to read minds – if we could we would all be billionaires..