Diary of an Insomniac page 202.. "Thoughts for her..."

Through the years in life, you met several great women and with them you learn valuable lessons.. Sometimes you just could not expect things to be good.. Sometimes life can be very negative, but deciding to stay positive all the time can be a good thing (in the long term)..

Everyone’s been hurt, at least once in their lifetime.. It really hurts like hell, but from those painful moments you really learn something from it.. Learn to be patient and learn to be more wiser and understanding.. It is hard to understand the opposite sex but its worth the try.. Because you know its worth it, I know its worth it..

Have you ever been in a situation where you did what you expected to be positive and the end result is the opposite? Well, you did the right thing but the wrong move.. That is where you’ll learn..

In life of love, for me, there’s 2 things.. Acceptance and Rejection.. What I never learned is what’s in the middle between both.. Compared to the 1st and 2nd ,the one in the middle is the hardest for me to deal with.. Its what we call as, Ignorance or another thing is ‘Hanging Situation’.. I’ve been through it and it really tears open every single bit of whats left in your soul.. Being ignored by someone you had known for a long time really hurts.. Even when you’ve been honest with her and told her every single reasons for your actions.. The thing here is, I’ve tried.. Being patient for years really tests my life.. Some people might say there’s still others out there waiting, But I can't do that.. Because it will totally change my perception towards woman..

They are not clothes like the ones you change everyday, they are human.. And humans have feelings.. U can't change love like changing your clothes.. That’s not even love.. If you believe in the term 'fake love' then you're screwing people’s mind.. Try to think of the consequences.. U played with people’s mind and loyalty, and when you leave them they got hurt like hell.. If they were to think negatively, they’ll follow the footsteps of the person who did that to them.. What happens next? U know the answer.. The cycle will continue, and those who are loyal will be the victims over and over again.. Be rational and logic..

Sometimes what you did in the past can be either a good thing or a bad thing for the future.. Sometimes you never realized that the past can sometimes tells us the good value of people who once were and still nice to u.. But no one is perfect.. Not even me.. So in life you learn the term ‘changes’.. Its for the benefit of yourselves.. Why is it important? Because you live only ONCE.. And everything has got to be positive throughout your life.. Me? I did my best but still I screwed up so that will be the closing of my chapter.. Because in this chapter of mine, I've hurt someone I cared the most, I failed to understand her, and I don’t want that to happen to somebody else.. I’ve done enough and in return what I get is failure so its something that I hope will heal someday..

So people, be rational and think of what I’ve wrote.. Don’t love women just for what you see with your eyes, love them for the good things of what they did not see within themselves.. Because that is where you will really appreciate them the most..