Motives In Life..

I've been having these conversations with my friends.. Listening to what they're trying to achieve, what road are they on and loads of other stuff.. It just got me thinking.. Where am I? What the hell am I doing here.. I need to regain my self-esteem again.. Now that I've quit my studies temporarily, I need to focus on things that matters.. And so I've come up with a list..

1. I wanna lose some weight.. Not 10, not 20, but at least 30.. I don't wanna stay in this 3 digit margin anymore.. Losing more than 10 would've suffice for that purpose.. But I'm not gonna stop there.. So, 30 would be the magic number.. It'll return me to the days where I used to play basketball and hopefully, the days where optimism filled me..

2. Body building.. Yeah.. That's the way.. Soon after I'll lose all those extra baggage, I'm gonna start to bulk up my muscles.. I already have broad shoulders to begin with.. So why not try to pump up these flabby muscles.. I still remember a few days ago.. I went to Alamanda Putrajaya.. Went to the arcade.. There was a punching machine.. The highest (heaviest) punch was 100kg.. Mine was only 96kg.. Arm strength is not the only important aspect in punching.. The motion, and steps are also important.. Hit hard, hit fast! If I can't even protect myself, how can I protect those I care about.. So, it can be concluded as, learning self defense as I bulk up..

3. Over the last few months.. Last few years actually.. I've been getting comments, more like complaints of why I'm using my intelligence in a proper way.. I've been using my brain to sneak out out late at night, to achieve my desires, and just to do what I want.. It's true that my mom's been nagging at me.. But I don't start doing something productive, all these annoying nags won't stop.. So, as I've accomplished the top 2 in my list, I'm gonna continue my studies.. By then, I'll be more determined than ever.. Not gonna repeat the same mistakes again.. And hell I'm not gonna wait anymore..

In everything that's good, there's evil hiding inside.. And in everything evil, there's always a glimpse of faith.. A small hope.. A small glimpse of light within never ending darkness..