Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The True Story..

If I were to write everything I felt and experienced, I don't think that this page is big enough.. I can only summarize it into several parts..

During the 1st 2 years we were togerther, I barely got angry with my gf.. I didn't even raise my voice at her.. Ever since she started hanging out with a new group of friends, everything went wrong.. She priotized them.. She was willing to cancel our date just to hang out with them.. She can never say no to them but it's the opposite with me.. Even when I told her to come and have lunch with me at my house WITH MY FAMILY, she declined.. Reason? "Tak manis anak gadis pegi umah teman lelaki".. I know I've been very controlling.. I asked her to sms me everything she wanna do things, everytime she wanna go out, with who and when.. I asked her to ask for my permission first before going out.. It was ok for the 1st 2 years in our relationship..

But then, after she started out her 2nd year degree, she became stubborn.. She hardly msg me unless i asked her first.. She became more outgoing with her friends.. There was one time where she called me.. And she was crying at that time becoz she couldn't do her exam very well.. During that sem, she was very outgoing.. Everywhere her friends go, she'd be there with them even though i didn't allow it.. So, as a result, she got scolded by me.. She knew she didn't had enough study and yet she still went out with her friends.. How smart is that? Then, another time, it happened like my last post.. About the skip class..

Then, one day, we argued about her friend.. Let's say there were A and B which were girls and C which is a guy.. C asked A to be his gf.. Then A started dragging C everywhere.. To open houses, gaths, etc.. And then, one day, C left A for B.. Even though A and B were friends, how can B seduce C? How can she steal him from A? Maybe u'll see that best woman wins.. But! If u like ur friend's bf, will u try to take him away from ur friend? Now.. We can see that B is wrong in this situation.. However, my gf still defends B and argued with me..

I still don't understand why my gf must hide stuffs from me? Relationship is mostly based on honesty and trust.. How can i trust her when she's not honest with me? The last few years.. We changed infos as password.. Infos such as birthdays, address, phone numbers, fav number, how to spell our name using only numpads (imagine typing on hp.. example, hisyam would be 44444777733326 then, change into simpler form, 447326..) She would use my info and I would use hers.. Before this, there was no problem at all with me going into her friendster and see who's checking her out.. Then, last month(Jan 2008), she got angry when i went into her friendster and straight away changed her password.. Why must she change her pass if she got nothing to hide from me? Why can't she let me read her sms if she got nothing to hide from me?

Anyway, back to the story, since the last 1 year and 10 months, since she started hanging out with new friends and became close to them, she started to change.. She's been priotizing her friends over me and I would get angry becoz of that.. Ppl been saying she's not my wife and she doesn't deserve to be controlled.. If i can't even control her when she's still my gf, how can i control her when she became my wife? Let's see.. Should I control 4-6 years of her life or should I control 40-60 years of her life? How can i rest assured that my wife won't betray me when she already annoyed me when she's a gf?? How can i give some freedom to her knowing that she wouldn't use it correctly..

The latest even that happened between the 2 of us was event no 1 in my last post.. How could she didn't tell me when she wanna go out, where, when and with whom?.. Furthermore, it was after 12 midnight! I tried to call her from 12.15 until 12.40.. Couldn't reach her.. Phone was off.. I tried to find her using Friendfinder services.. It was in hide mode.. If phone was off and not in hide mode, it'll just say "His(Her) location information is currently unavailable".. But that time, it was "phone is not in HIDE mode. His(Her) location information is not available now".. I tried to call her housemates, they said she's doing lab.. I asked for her lab partner's number which btw was a guy, and they all declined to give me.. "Owh I'm scared he will get angry with me" "I don't wanna get involve in this".. As if i'm gonna tell him who gave his number to me.. One of her friends tried to call her lab partner.. Let's say he's M.. She said she couldn't reach M.. Not there was no answer.. So, assuming that both of them had their hp switched off and in hide mode, I rushed to SA that night around 1 o'clock.. I reach there around 1.30 and there was no guard at the gate.. I waited around 10 minutes and then only i saw them coming from a mamak stall nearby.. I asked him I wanna see my gf and explained she was doing lab but I couldn't reach her in her hp.. The guard said my gf already left long time ago with M.. After that I tried searching at all the mamak stalls nearby her house.. Still couldn't find her.. Then I decided to wait in front of her house.. Started waiting around 2.. I could hear laughing and talking from inside her house and inside her room.. And then, around 3 o'clock, her friend sms me saying how she said she's ok and she wanted me to go back home.. I was like.. "eh, just now couldn't call him.. How did she tell her? Why couldn't she inform me first?".. Then around 3.20, she called me.. Can u guess wat's the 1st thing she said to me? It was "Can u go back home? I'm ok here".. Of coz u're ok but I'm not.. How can i be ok when she couldn't say she's sorry as she didn't tell me she's went out with a guy AFTER 12.. And moreover, she still wanna argue and tell me to go back.. I snapped! I screamed inside the car.. I yelled "GET BACK HERE!!" as loud as I can.. Not once but 3 times.. And the next yell was louder than the last one.. Then, I can hear all the talking and laughter inside her room suddenly quiet.. She was on the phone for 1-2 minutes only.. So the time now is 3.23am.. Then, after 30 minutes only she arrived with her friend.. She told me subang was near.. Around 15 minutes only.. If 15 minutes then why was she late? What was she doing until the time doubles?? Then, I knocked at her friend's car.. Asking him his phone number.. He replied "Her mom also never ask me my number.. Why should i give u?" Her mom is her mother.. Not her boyfriend.. I can't believe how idiotic can 1 guy be.. He didn't even say sorry taking my gf out or was late.. She told me.. That night.. She went out to do some work with that guy.. Then, one of his friends met him.. After that, they all went out.. Imagine this.. Hp inside car, but friend still can know where he is without him telling them.. How coincidental is that? M's friend went to A&W and meet M when M's phone is still inside his car, and they went somewhere else to eat.. Is it me or is it planned from the beginning?

Then they went out to eat at subang.. Why can't they go eat at Shah Alam? I know by this time, M already know I'm already here, waiting for her.. If he didn't, it meant it's her housemate's fault for not informing.. And still, she tried to backup her friend.. "I wanted to eat rice and not at mamak stall".. U wanna eat rice go eat at someplace nearer.. If u don't wanna eat at mamak, then eat sooner.. Don't wait until 2 o'clock only u went eat.. I really can accept she did some work with that guy.. Really! I can! But what i can't accept is, why can't she meet me first before I go back? Why must she hide that guy's hp number? She told me "20 cents how to sms?".. Maxis to maxis was as low as 5 cent per sms.. Or maybe 7 cent for him.. Why can't she have the initiative to inform me thru public? There're a lot of public phones inside Shah Alam and Subang.. Why she still can't inform me? And most importantly, why must she follows him to subang and eat? Why can't she said NO to M and went back to SA to eat??

I don't understand.. If ur friend has relationship problems and he or she told u about it, it means u're already involved in it.. And yet, some ppl say "oh I don't wanna get involve".. If u don't wanna get involve, then don't listen to her.. Why can't she sacrifices her friends for me? Why can't she priotizes me instead of her friends?

*added 2 Feb 2008
Btw, I forgot to add this in.. A week before she went out with that guy, I fetch her and she said she was sorry for all the things she did for the last three weeks.. And yet, she did those things AGAIN after 6 days.. *sigh*.. She told my sis she dodn't love me anymore.. Well, if she don't love me anymore, why did she say sorry?


ared said...

hai isyam,
ok..i get the overview of the picture dy...hopefully the other parties is not reading my comment...from the story here,ur gf started to change when she smakin rapat ngan this guy.betul?actually, perkara yg dia tidak membtau ko ke mane die pegi tu is not a big issue..ok..jgn bebankan sgt kat situ..kasi la die kredit kat situ..means that u kasi can la die nak ke mane pn..

but for her to hide something from u...especially pertaining on ur relationship..itu mmg takleh diterima...i mean hide sms,fs all..

the thing is..im not sure y ur gf do this to u...adakah die dah benci ngan ko..or si jantan tu dah menggoda die tatkala die sedang emo..means mase die gaduh ngan ko this fellow eventually came n make her happy...ini juga blh menybbkan ur gf paling arah...but this fellow really brani la...rilex je die cilok awek org..ni dah bukan kawan dah ni..ni dah kire rampas kekasih org dah ni...

bende ni klu dari 1pihak je mmg takkan setel sampai bile2..like i said b4...try to talk to her,find a way to disscuss wats goin on..klu takleh gak...the best way carik lain la syam..bukan taknak tlg..but wat u said tu btul...gf dah tak btul besok dah kawin lagi teruk...
klu u taknak carik lain n still hoping for her...kasi sejuk keadaan dulu...panas klu lawan panas akan terbakar...panas klu lawan sejuk pn gelas akan pecah..so let time cool the thing off...this is my view..nnt klu orga balik aku mintak pandangan die lak k...come on bro..life is tough,camne pn life must go on...

merdika said...

hai isyam
for my opinion,if u still love ur xgf,go and chase her.maybe shes still can accept u.okey. im a girl n i understand girls feeling.

nothing to do with that boy.i dont think hes trying to seduce ur gf,maybe they just a good friend.

but that guy was really cool.how can he answer just like that when u knocked his car door.

try ur best isyam,u may get back ur ex if god willing u too~

but if ur ex really cant aceept u back.what to do.find another girl.life is easy.dont make it complicated.enjoyyzzzzzzzz

XeNoGeArS said...

heh.. i don't think i even want my ex anymore.. how can her attitude towards me change when she's with her friends? i really hate hypocrites the most..

and i didn't BANG or knock hardly on the windows.. it was just a soft knock to ask him to lower his window.. and for someone who doesn't know where he stand, i ROFL on his arrogance