I've been sad for the whole morning.. I feel so lonely that all the memories about my ex suddenly arrive 1 by 1.. *sigh*..
I woke up around 4 am.. I forgot what my dream was.. All I remember was I heard my ex is going to get married this sunday.. Suddenly it struck me.. All those memories of having a loving and caring gf, and I was a jerk to her.. It's been a month since I last cried.. Tears run down my cheek without me noticing.. Without hesitating, I called nami, wondered what happened to the Roti Telur I ordered thru him a few hours ago.. When I heard a knock on the door, I knew it was him.. I quickly wiped my tears and opened the door..
Around 7am, I saw one of my old friends was online.. When she say good morning to me, I was thinking to myself.. "Good morning? What's good about this morning? It's a BAD morning!".. We talked about lots of stuff.. Then she adviced me to 'make a life'.. I wonder how.. She told me it is question I have to answer on my own..
Yeah.. Having fun doesn't last long.. When the event finishes, I'd be the same as before.. Well, at least I had fun :).. It's better than to sit n think all the sad parts.. Even sometimes when I smile or laugh, I know that deep down in me, I'm still crying..
Enough bout that.. Let me tell you about the dream I had after friday prayer.. First of all, it's like a continuation of my last dream.. The part that I remember was she was getting married.. The Akad Nikah ceremony.. As I step into her house compound, I saw her.. And apparently, she was surprised to see me there.. "An-chan" she said.. Which means brother in japanese.. In this case, someone dear.. Then she pronounced to all that's she would prefer to marry me since she made a promise to do so.. As I walk away to my house, she approached me.. I couldn't hold it any longer.. As I hugged her, I cried whole heartedly.. Then, I dropped onto the ground.. When I realized it, I was in my hostel room, and tears still drop down my cheek.. Heh.. Dreams.. Too bad it was in the evening.. LoL..
Dreams during evenings will never come true.. Too bad.. Hahaha.. Dreams that have highly chance to come true, some would call it a deja vu, are likely to happen during 2-4 in the morning.. That is why it is preferred that we should get some sleep around 11 and wake up around 5 in the morning..
Friday, May 2, 2008
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