1. Men who are hawt and rich fall in love with vulgar, outspoken women.
2. If you are a girl and have a best guy friend, he’s definitely in love with you.
3. Brothers/best friends/schoolmates/enemies always love the same girl.
4. You’re allowed to make U-turns anywhere in Korea. And there’s never traffic (or a single vehicle) on the side you want to turn to.
5. You get to run out of a restaurant without paying the bill. All you have to do is slap someone and storm out in tears.
6. Everyone has cancer.
7. You’ll get a flu/cold/fever after getting caught in the rain for 5 minutes.
8. When you’re sick, your boyfriend carries you on his back and races to the hospital. He hasn’t even heard of taxi/buses/hitching a ride.
9. Somebody gets into the pool/ocean with their clothes on.
10. If you’re rich, you’re an bubble gum.
11. If you’re poor, you’re an angel.
12. Your brother is a retard. If said brother is a real (blood-related) one, he is a lazy, stupid, irresponsible bum who exists by leeching off you. He’s not even handsome.
13. You’re not studying hard enough unless you get a nosebleed.
14. If you have a nosebleed, it’s most definitely cancer. And you have no money to pay for the surgery that’ll save your life. And your liver is missing. The doctors are not sure where it went, but it’s making your cancer progress faster.
15. You always order orange juice or coffee at a cafe. And you never drink it. EVER.
16. If two people are talking confidentially, they will leave the door of the room ajar so that a third party will eavesdrop on the conversation.
17. You go to America and you come back miraculously successful. You go to England and you come back amazingly fashionable. You stay in Korea and the only thing that’s changed is your hairstyle.
18. And you come back to Korea because you have cancer.
19. Everyone goes to the same hospital no matter where they are.
20. Even if you’re poor and can’t eat, you never wear the same clothes twice.
21. If you play a poor kid, you always have dirt on your face and your hair is always messy.
22. If you’re saving someone from being hit by a speeding car, you’ll push them out of the way and wait for the car to hit you instead.
23. Everyone has a long lost sister/brother/twin.
24. If you don’t want to answer your lover’s call, you can’t turn it off. You’ve got to take out the battery.
25. All Korean men can drink hard, smoke long, sing well and play the piano. Usually all at the same time, at the same restaurant that has a piano. The girlfriend doesn’t know this until she sees him playing the piano at night.
26. If you’re in a relationship, you must, at one point, leave the country and have your lover tearfully come RIGHT before you board the plane (vice versa applies as well. You can be the chaser.) 60% of the time you meet each other, and 40% you’re roaming around in circles in pass each other about 6 times. But you don’t see each other.
27. If you’re getting off a plane, you’re always wearing sunglasses.
28. All guys wear hideous tracksuits zipped up to their neck. Even if they’re only doing jump-roping.
29. Girls will always storm off because they’re mad. The guy will stoically grab them by them arm and swing them back – by magic, not dislocate their shoulders.
30. If you hit your head in a traffic accident, you might lose your memory. But don’t worry, you will get it back when you hit your head a second time.
31. Surprises ALWAYS backfire.
32. There will be situations in an elevator and in a toilet. In the elevator, you gotta get stuck with the bastard you’re trying to avoid. In the toilet scene, there’s a high probability you get caught by that bastard you’re trying to avoid.
33. Or most likely because you’re in the men’s toilet.
34. Unless you’re fabulously rich, your in-laws will always hate you.
35. So will your sister-in-law.
36. Your brother-in-law might have a crush on you.
37. There are only 2 ways to kiss. You either press your lips against theirs with your mouth completely shut in a long and comfortable kiss, OR you devour the other person and suck their soul out. In both instances, the world spins.
38. If a car ever breaks down or runs out of gas, it will happen on a small rural road with no other traffic, late at night. The area will also have no cellphone coverage, and you gotta walk the whole 10 miles back to civilisation in your 5-inch heels.
39. If you want 2 rooms in a hotel, only one will be available, and that one room will only have one bed.
40. You’ll get pregnant the first time you have sex.
41. You’ll get pregnant if he kisses you on the forehead.
42. Hell – you’ll get pregnant if you hold hands.
43. If you overcome great obstacles to be together, one of you must die. Probably due to cancer.
44. A guy and a girl on a bus must sit in the rear next to the right-hand window. A lone girl/guy sitting at that spot will reminisce about the time when he/she did have someone sitting beside him/her.
45. One man can kick the butts of 6 gangsters, especially when they all stand in a circle and attack the guy 1 by 1. When each of them get their butts PWNED, they wise up and attack the guy at the same time. Then the guy will get pulverized and bleed out onto the dusty concrete floor of the empty warehouse they found to fight in. And the girl will have watched this the entire time, screaming in horror. Instead of calling 119, she’ll just watch and cry. But it’s okay. Because the next day the guy will be fine with a few random bandages and a few scars on the face. But never a black eye.
46. Good girls don’t drive cars. Bad girls do. Well, a good girl just might drive, but she will do it so badly it’s a wonder she was ever given a license.
47. Rich people live in mansions surrounded by brick walls. The others live in shacks atop high buildings in downtown Seoul, or in hillside slums on the outskirts of the city.
48. Korean schools and universities suck. To study anything serious, you must go abroad.
49. If you study in the States (preferably Harvard), you are one of the top students and you can speak perfect English (as assumed by the reactions of those around you). Why the rest of the world OUTSIDE the TV can’t understand a single word uttered in your melodramatic voice is beyond me.
50. For one reason or another, a guy comes out of the bathroom naked/chest bared. Utterly shocked, you cover your eyes while screaming and pointing at him, while the guy screams along and covers his… nipples?
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Like? or Want?
What behaviors can YOU implement that are known to make the women that YOU DESIRE MOST to want you?
First of all, it’s time for a small but important distinction. Be aware: there is a difference between LIKING and WANTING.
A woman can like you perfectly fine, and still not be ATTRACTED to you. (Hint: this is called ‘friendship’.)
Unfortunately, a lot of guys TRY to create ‘attraction’, when in fact, what they’re ACTUALLY doing is creating FRIENDSHIP.
Many guys attempt to do things for a woman which (he thinks) will make her want him …
… but which, in actual fact, do nothing but broadcast his COMPLETE lack of perceived control over the situation, his DESPERATION to effect a certain ‘end’, and his cluelessness about ‘how attraction works’.
Such men include those who preface a conversation with a female counterpart with the words, ‘Hey, can I buy you a drink?’ and ‘You’re pretty’ …
… as well as guys who assume the ‘therapist’ role (hearing all about the ex, the guys who’ve ‘done her wrong’, and about the guy she’s currently seeing) …
… as well as guys who ROLL OVER and play ‘dead’ for a woman (being the chauffeur, buying her stuff, putting up with weird behavior and temper tantrums, and generally pandering to the idea that SHE is in control and YOU are supplicating to her.)
Fortunately, there are many women out there who have too much self-respect, compassion, and BETTER OPTIONS than to encourage that kind of behavior from men …
… but on the other, less-fortunate hand, such women DO exist who WILL accept (and in fact, blatantly orchestrate) such behavior … some, who even EXPECT IT.
Such women are toxic, and you would do well to avoid all interactions with them. Sex is not a valid currency in the mind of ANY man who has a modicum of value.
So here’s the point: those are the kind of women who ‘like you’ (or appear to) rather than actually WANTING YOU.
(They are also, often, the kinds of women who believe that ‘men are rats’, that they’re only out to ‘get one thing from a woman’, and that your funds are a valid exchange for such shreds of time and fleshliness as she’s prepared to throw your way.)
… and let’s be honest here. Most of the time, that fleshliness is REFERRED to often, but rarely actually MATERIALIZES. So she’ll hint, infer, and otherwise make you THINK that you’re maybe going to get a ‘reward’ for all your troubles … but it almost NEVER actually HAPPENS.
There is an important lesson here: if you want to make a woman WANT you, you have got to be in control of yourself, and not seem DESPERATE.
The easiest way not to seem desperate is, of course, to actually not BE desperate. And the best way to genuinely avoid desperation is to actually HAVE OPTIONS when it comes to women and dating.
If you ever catch yourself feeling as though you’d ‘do anything’ for a woman just to have her hang around, she will SENSE it and be repelled.
Why?
Because women don’t like weak, needy men who are OK with receiving poor treatment simply to bask in her presence.
Power corrupts. And absolute power corrupts absolutely.
So lesson one: don’t give away your power. Don’t supplicate. Don’t beg. Don’t be desperate. For now, put your attention on the necessity of not ‘faking’ anything (i.e. not having to PRETEND not to be needy or desperate, while all along your heart’s hammering away and your palms are sweating because this is Your Big Chance)
… and of actually HAVING OPTIONS.
A few solid guidelines:
Don’t be on call for her.-
Don’t drop everything for her.-
Don’t wait for her to validate you.-
Don’t offer to purchase anything or expend any resources in order to talk to her - or see her. (If taking girls out is something you already do for fun, then fine. But if you’re doing it because you want her to ‘like you’, then consider that your first red flag and drop that behavior like a hot potato.)
Don’t be the one she calls ONLY when she ‘needs something’. -
Be a man, not a puppy-dog. -
But enough with the doom and gloom. So now you know how to make a woman ‘like’ you as opposed to ‘want’ you …
… so how do you flip the coin? How do you make her WANT YOU?
Is it looks?
Is it wealth?
Is it confidence?
Is it power?
All those things are part of it, but they’re not THE SINGLE MOST FUNDAMENTAL THING.
I want you to think deeper than what everyone else is telling you. Think deeper than ‘conventional wisdom.’
What is the single most fundamental thing that a woman wants in a sexual partner?
Think about it…
What’s the one thing she HAS to have?
I can tell you straight off that it isn’t looks. There are plenty of average-looking guys with beautiful women in their lives.
And quality women don’t tend to be overly impressed by wealth.
Confidence is definitely a big one, but it’s still not ESSENTIAL a full 100% of the time, with 100% of women.
… so WHAT IS IT?
Here goes: the MOST important thing that a woman needs in order to WANT YOU is …
… that you are a MAN.
First of all, it’s time for a small but important distinction. Be aware: there is a difference between LIKING and WANTING.
A woman can like you perfectly fine, and still not be ATTRACTED to you. (Hint: this is called ‘friendship’.)
Unfortunately, a lot of guys TRY to create ‘attraction’, when in fact, what they’re ACTUALLY doing is creating FRIENDSHIP.
Many guys attempt to do things for a woman which (he thinks) will make her want him …
… but which, in actual fact, do nothing but broadcast his COMPLETE lack of perceived control over the situation, his DESPERATION to effect a certain ‘end’, and his cluelessness about ‘how attraction works’.
Such men include those who preface a conversation with a female counterpart with the words, ‘Hey, can I buy you a drink?’ and ‘You’re pretty’ …
… as well as guys who assume the ‘therapist’ role (hearing all about the ex, the guys who’ve ‘done her wrong’, and about the guy she’s currently seeing) …
… as well as guys who ROLL OVER and play ‘dead’ for a woman (being the chauffeur, buying her stuff, putting up with weird behavior and temper tantrums, and generally pandering to the idea that SHE is in control and YOU are supplicating to her.)
Fortunately, there are many women out there who have too much self-respect, compassion, and BETTER OPTIONS than to encourage that kind of behavior from men …
… but on the other, less-fortunate hand, such women DO exist who WILL accept (and in fact, blatantly orchestrate) such behavior … some, who even EXPECT IT.
Such women are toxic, and you would do well to avoid all interactions with them. Sex is not a valid currency in the mind of ANY man who has a modicum of value.
So here’s the point: those are the kind of women who ‘like you’ (or appear to) rather than actually WANTING YOU.
(They are also, often, the kinds of women who believe that ‘men are rats’, that they’re only out to ‘get one thing from a woman’, and that your funds are a valid exchange for such shreds of time and fleshliness as she’s prepared to throw your way.)
… and let’s be honest here. Most of the time, that fleshliness is REFERRED to often, but rarely actually MATERIALIZES. So she’ll hint, infer, and otherwise make you THINK that you’re maybe going to get a ‘reward’ for all your troubles … but it almost NEVER actually HAPPENS.
There is an important lesson here: if you want to make a woman WANT you, you have got to be in control of yourself, and not seem DESPERATE.
The easiest way not to seem desperate is, of course, to actually not BE desperate. And the best way to genuinely avoid desperation is to actually HAVE OPTIONS when it comes to women and dating.
If you ever catch yourself feeling as though you’d ‘do anything’ for a woman just to have her hang around, she will SENSE it and be repelled.
Why?
Because women don’t like weak, needy men who are OK with receiving poor treatment simply to bask in her presence.
Power corrupts. And absolute power corrupts absolutely.
So lesson one: don’t give away your power. Don’t supplicate. Don’t beg. Don’t be desperate. For now, put your attention on the necessity of not ‘faking’ anything (i.e. not having to PRETEND not to be needy or desperate, while all along your heart’s hammering away and your palms are sweating because this is Your Big Chance)
… and of actually HAVING OPTIONS.
A few solid guidelines:
Don’t be on call for her.-
Don’t drop everything for her.-
Don’t wait for her to validate you.-
Don’t offer to purchase anything or expend any resources in order to talk to her - or see her. (If taking girls out is something you already do for fun, then fine. But if you’re doing it because you want her to ‘like you’, then consider that your first red flag and drop that behavior like a hot potato.)
Don’t be the one she calls ONLY when she ‘needs something’. -
Be a man, not a puppy-dog. -
But enough with the doom and gloom. So now you know how to make a woman ‘like’ you as opposed to ‘want’ you …
… so how do you flip the coin? How do you make her WANT YOU?
Is it looks?
Is it wealth?
Is it confidence?
Is it power?
All those things are part of it, but they’re not THE SINGLE MOST FUNDAMENTAL THING.
I want you to think deeper than what everyone else is telling you. Think deeper than ‘conventional wisdom.’
What is the single most fundamental thing that a woman wants in a sexual partner?
Think about it…
What’s the one thing she HAS to have?
I can tell you straight off that it isn’t looks. There are plenty of average-looking guys with beautiful women in their lives.
And quality women don’t tend to be overly impressed by wealth.
Confidence is definitely a big one, but it’s still not ESSENTIAL a full 100% of the time, with 100% of women.
… so WHAT IS IT?
Here goes: the MOST important thing that a woman needs in order to WANT YOU is …
… that you are a MAN.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
"I need you"
Sometimes, how nice it would be if the person you care about, says that they really need you.. You'll feel the importance, the significance of yourself in their life..
It would definitely bring the person a very big smile, when you say that you need them.. Think about it, that person might be sad, annoyed, or even angry, but then, when you, someone important to them, says that you need them, it would definitely cheer them up..
However, do keep in mind that, if you do this to almost everyone, it might have a reversed effect.. Especially if you do it to the wrong person.. Never and NEVER do this to your one-sided love.. At least be sure that they don't already have someone else in mind...
Good luck in making someone's day brighter ;)
It would definitely bring the person a very big smile, when you say that you need them.. Think about it, that person might be sad, annoyed, or even angry, but then, when you, someone important to them, says that you need them, it would definitely cheer them up..
However, do keep in mind that, if you do this to almost everyone, it might have a reversed effect.. Especially if you do it to the wrong person.. Never and NEVER do this to your one-sided love.. At least be sure that they don't already have someone else in mind...
Good luck in making someone's day brighter ;)
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Anxiety kills ;)
Before sharing with you the secrets to becoming a vibrant, supremely self confident person who is ultra attractive to the opposite gender, I have a few questions that I'd like to ask you....
Have you ever seen someone from across the room that you really like, or who you'd really love to meet.... but were too overwhelmed by fear and nervousness to go over and start a conversation?
Have you ever felt like you don't deserve the kind of person that you are REALLY attracted to, and as a result always settle for second best?
Have you ever felt yourself shaking with self-consciousness when you are talking to someone that you've got a crush on? Lost your words? Can't be your best self?
Have you ever been in a relationship where you got emotionally insecure and ended up driving your partner away by your clinginess and insecurity?
Have you ever fallen in love with someone before you've even dated them and got jealous and upset when they go out with someone else?
When you're not self confident, then you get nervous and act differently at times when you feel stressed or need to be at your best.. For example on a date, or when you talk to someone you're attracted to..
If your confidence betrays you at these vital times, then you may well struggle to make your life turn out the way you want it to.. Confidence is attractive, and without it, it's difficult to attract a really good catch.
Why?
People base their assumptions of you on what they know of you. That's why first impressions can be so hard to change.. If that's all they know of you, then as far as the other person is concerned, that image they have in their head of you IS YOU..
So if you meet someone you are attracted to and act nervous, fumble your words, and run out of things to say.. Then as far as the other person knows, you are someone who is nervous, fumbles their words and runs out of things to say..
Of course a little nervousness with a smile can be endearing and can even help you, but if you can't let your best self shine through soon and if you end up getting so nervous that you just want to get out of there, then it's hard to see that person you like ever be attracted to you..
Also, it's really unfortunate that people may assume from your shy or nervous behavior that you simply don't like being around them.. They pick up on your discomfort. They may end up becoming quite negative towards you as a result, because they think that you've rejected them first—when in reality you just didn't know what to say or do..
Reasons? Simply because...
Anxiety that you may never be able to attract and keep the kind of person that you REALLY want. If you've ever felt this kind of anxiety then you'll know PRECISELY what I am talking about.. It plays on your mind all the time..
Anxiety that the person that you want isn't interested in you, or is interested in someone else. If you've ever been through this kind of mental struggle, then you'll probably also be aware that it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that could well turn out far different if you didn't create all this internal tension by playing these mind games with yourself.. Find out how to stop these anxious thoughts and how to replace them with positive ones!
Anxiety about what to say next. Do you ever suddenly freeze up when you're around a person who you're attracted to? Perhaps you get the exact opposite and talk too much, too fast.. Either way, be yourself and wash the anxiety away when talking to the opposite gender..
Anxiety about what you look like. Do you worry that you don't look attractive enough to attract a hottie? Do you feel like you can't attract the person of your dreams until you lose x pounds? Or until you get a tan? Feel great, exactly as you are, because attractiveness comes from within first!
Love is like a Drug?
Love of family, and platonic love, are not so susceptible to scientific probing.. But since my first disastrous infatuation with a girl I believed to be my eternal soul mate, I've been convinced that romantic love is a profoundly physical rather than spiritual phenomenon..
In romantic love, our neurons and our hormones, our brains and our blood pressure, our stomachs and hearts, are in a state of upheaval.. And if we check out the behavior of our close primate relatives, we can detect links between human bonding of the romantic love type, and evolutionary survival pressures.. In fact, there's no area of physiology, or behavioral and evolutionary biology, that doesn't boast an explanatory claim to romantic love..
The feeling that romantic love is akin to being "besotted" lies deep in western folk memory.. From the ancient Greek myth of the centaur Nessus and his dangerous love potions, to E M Forster's lovesick Maurice's complaint that he is "drugged", our forebears have characterized romantic love as a potent substance.. But is it generated within, or outside, the body? Many of our ancestors cited external influences: drugged arrows, spells, planetary forces, charms, potions..
A medieval recipe for a "true-love powder" states: "Take elecampane, the seeds and flowers of vervain, and the berries of mistletoe.. Beat them, after being well dried in an oven, into a powder, and give it to the party you design upon in a glass of wine and it will work wonderful effect to your advantage.."
But Galen, the 2nd-century Greek "prince of physicians", insisted that the affliction was purely a matter of internal chemistry.. It's what happens, he asserted, when the crucial four bodily fluids, or humours — yellow bile, black bile, phlegm and blood — get into a muddle.. For Galen's followers, right down to Robert Burton, author of The Anatomy of Melancholy, the theory of humoralism held good.. Galen was eventually displaced by 19th-century theories of cell biology, but modern physiologists nevertheless share his broad conviction that romantic love is induced by powerful natural bodily chemicals.. In our own day, the favoured chemical explanation focuses on a molecule called PEA: phenylethylamine, a kind of natural amphetamine that revs up the brain and the central nervous system.. PEA causes the experience of euphoria, hyperventilation, increased heart rate, dilated pupils, and secretions of odors that can seduce an unsuspecting love object.. The eye of the chemical storm is in the brain..
The brain in romantic love resembles a huge geological and meteorological event: earthquakes, cyclones, tsunamis.. It's as if the ecosystem of the lover's brain, the pulsing grey-blue-green planet in the skull, suffers a drastic depletion of the protective cortical ozone layer, triggering neuronal global warming with consequent atmospheric storms..
The notion that reason goes to pot in romantic love fits with a popular mind-brain theory first proposed in the 1970s.. The outer brain, or cortex, which evolved late in evolution, is associated with rational thought and intelligence.. The midbrain, known as the limbic system, regulates the emotions.. But there's a deep inner core, located at the final bulb where the spinal cord enters the brain where lurk our darker, primeval, instinctive behaviors of territoriality, mating and reward-seeking..
But whether the nature of romantic love is revealed by nurture rather than nature, by evolution rather than hormones, psychodynamics rather than behaviourism, there are significant lessons to be learnt from the science of statistics.. Divorces, steadily on the increase these past five decades, now run at a rate of more than 50% in the highly concentrated residential districts of the southeast of England. The figures do not include the failed heterosexual partnerships that never reached marriage, nor homosexual partnerships, but the statistics reinforce the message that we should be sceptical about romantic love as a prelude to lasting love.. And yet, statistics also reveal that, despite the scepticism, marriages are on the increase, at a rate of about 2% per annum.. The notion that romantic love is worth it, that it can transform to permanent attachment, is not only far from dead, it is evidently alive and well and thriving..
At a conference on love held about 30 years ago in the US, the delegates agreed that romantic love should be defined as "a cognitive-affective state characterized by intrusive and obsessive fantasizing concerning reciprocity of amorant feelings by the object of the amorance".. That, of course, is the problem of seeking to understand romantic love in clunking scientific language.. Science tells us much that is interesting about love.. But to describe what it is really like to fall in love, subjectively, personally, and to understand why we continue to embark on its exciting, as well as painful and hazardous, journey, we must turn to other kinds of human discourse: poetry, fiction, memoir, and real-life experience..
In romantic love, our neurons and our hormones, our brains and our blood pressure, our stomachs and hearts, are in a state of upheaval.. And if we check out the behavior of our close primate relatives, we can detect links between human bonding of the romantic love type, and evolutionary survival pressures.. In fact, there's no area of physiology, or behavioral and evolutionary biology, that doesn't boast an explanatory claim to romantic love..
The feeling that romantic love is akin to being "besotted" lies deep in western folk memory.. From the ancient Greek myth of the centaur Nessus and his dangerous love potions, to E M Forster's lovesick Maurice's complaint that he is "drugged", our forebears have characterized romantic love as a potent substance.. But is it generated within, or outside, the body? Many of our ancestors cited external influences: drugged arrows, spells, planetary forces, charms, potions..
A medieval recipe for a "true-love powder" states: "Take elecampane, the seeds and flowers of vervain, and the berries of mistletoe.. Beat them, after being well dried in an oven, into a powder, and give it to the party you design upon in a glass of wine and it will work wonderful effect to your advantage.."
But Galen, the 2nd-century Greek "prince of physicians", insisted that the affliction was purely a matter of internal chemistry.. It's what happens, he asserted, when the crucial four bodily fluids, or humours — yellow bile, black bile, phlegm and blood — get into a muddle.. For Galen's followers, right down to Robert Burton, author of The Anatomy of Melancholy, the theory of humoralism held good.. Galen was eventually displaced by 19th-century theories of cell biology, but modern physiologists nevertheless share his broad conviction that romantic love is induced by powerful natural bodily chemicals.. In our own day, the favoured chemical explanation focuses on a molecule called PEA: phenylethylamine, a kind of natural amphetamine that revs up the brain and the central nervous system.. PEA causes the experience of euphoria, hyperventilation, increased heart rate, dilated pupils, and secretions of odors that can seduce an unsuspecting love object.. The eye of the chemical storm is in the brain..
The brain in romantic love resembles a huge geological and meteorological event: earthquakes, cyclones, tsunamis.. It's as if the ecosystem of the lover's brain, the pulsing grey-blue-green planet in the skull, suffers a drastic depletion of the protective cortical ozone layer, triggering neuronal global warming with consequent atmospheric storms..
The notion that reason goes to pot in romantic love fits with a popular mind-brain theory first proposed in the 1970s.. The outer brain, or cortex, which evolved late in evolution, is associated with rational thought and intelligence.. The midbrain, known as the limbic system, regulates the emotions.. But there's a deep inner core, located at the final bulb where the spinal cord enters the brain where lurk our darker, primeval, instinctive behaviors of territoriality, mating and reward-seeking..
But whether the nature of romantic love is revealed by nurture rather than nature, by evolution rather than hormones, psychodynamics rather than behaviourism, there are significant lessons to be learnt from the science of statistics.. Divorces, steadily on the increase these past five decades, now run at a rate of more than 50% in the highly concentrated residential districts of the southeast of England. The figures do not include the failed heterosexual partnerships that never reached marriage, nor homosexual partnerships, but the statistics reinforce the message that we should be sceptical about romantic love as a prelude to lasting love.. And yet, statistics also reveal that, despite the scepticism, marriages are on the increase, at a rate of about 2% per annum.. The notion that romantic love is worth it, that it can transform to permanent attachment, is not only far from dead, it is evidently alive and well and thriving..
At a conference on love held about 30 years ago in the US, the delegates agreed that romantic love should be defined as "a cognitive-affective state characterized by intrusive and obsessive fantasizing concerning reciprocity of amorant feelings by the object of the amorance".. That, of course, is the problem of seeking to understand romantic love in clunking scientific language.. Science tells us much that is interesting about love.. But to describe what it is really like to fall in love, subjectively, personally, and to understand why we continue to embark on its exciting, as well as painful and hazardous, journey, we must turn to other kinds of human discourse: poetry, fiction, memoir, and real-life experience..
Lovesick?
So deeply affected by love as to be unable to act normally.. I awake every morning, thinking on her, having dreamt of her all night, the pain of separation searing your heart every time a site or smell brings back the memory of your last encounter.. Daydreaming, drawing hearts in the sand, constantly thinking "I wish she's here so I could share this moment" even when pulling weeds or walking around.. The consuming fire within the heart for even one more moment with ones love that defies rational thought, knowing full well, one moment would never be enough, yearning for eternity together..
The close relationship between the two might help modern day doctors in both their diagnoses and treatments..
I feel that lately, I've been quite fatigued.. Even though I had a total of 9 hours of sleep.. It maybe due to the hypoglycemia but then, does hypoglycemia cause fever? I've done some googling and here's some of the interesting facts I've found...
Then comes the bigger question, am I really lovesick? I'm not saying that I'm thinking of her all the time, but there are times when my mind would fill up with unanswered questions.. And they are not entirely about her as well!
Actually, it might be better this way.. I know I just couldn't sit around and do nothing.. As a question pops up in my mind, if they are not other people related, I would just simply google it up, and find deeper understanding about it.. Once I understand what it is all about, my worries, my insecurities are gone..
Here's some of the symptoms of Lovesickness...
The close relationship between the two might help modern day doctors in both their diagnoses and treatments..
I feel that lately, I've been quite fatigued.. Even though I had a total of 9 hours of sleep.. It maybe due to the hypoglycemia but then, does hypoglycemia cause fever? I've done some googling and here's some of the interesting facts I've found...
Lovesickness has its own symptoms, such as insomnia, depression, loss of appetite, loss of interest in everyday life and work, obsessive thoughts, mental intrusions and a frequent inclination to cry..
Then comes the bigger question, am I really lovesick? I'm not saying that I'm thinking of her all the time, but there are times when my mind would fill up with unanswered questions.. And they are not entirely about her as well!
Actually, it might be better this way.. I know I just couldn't sit around and do nothing.. As a question pops up in my mind, if they are not other people related, I would just simply google it up, and find deeper understanding about it.. Once I understand what it is all about, my worries, my insecurities are gone..
Here's some of the symptoms of Lovesickness...
Clammy Hands
Clammy hands and dry mouth are a sign of being love sick.. The body's nervous system goes haywire--too much moisture in the hands, too little moisture in the mouth..Preoccupation
When the lover is not nearby, the love sick person will feel bereft, depressed, moody, tearful, anxious and preoccupied.. The love sick person will experience loss of appetite..Rapid Heartbeat
Upon seeing the lover, rapid heartbeat is usually paired with a rush of emotion in the chest.. The pumping of the heart can cause blushing in the face and neck..Confusion
Confusion may occur when the lover is nearby.. Stuttering, staring and clumsiness are all aspects of this symptom..Symptom Duration
Despite its intensity, love sickness is a passing state of mind, lasting anywhere from a few days, to a few months.. It's difficult to retain the intense level of emotion that love sickness awakens in the body--usually the feelings lead the lover to either express her feelings and reduce the anxiety, or as time passes, the feelings lose their power as the reality of getting to know the real person takes away from the fantasy..Monday, November 22, 2010
Doubts...
I've been having insecurities for the last few days.. My instinct is saying to let go... But my heart is saying to stay.. Even though it's hurting... As for my mind, it's been saying.. I have to follow this through the end.. Words I've said.. I must comply.. I'm not one who would simply make promises and giving up before it has really ended.. My principle.. My beliefs.. And my pride..
Arghhh.. Being an optimist can sometimes be a pain in the ass.. Despite that, I know that things will work out in the end.. one way or another...
Though my heart aches so much, I still can't stop thinking about it.. I would really like to make things work.. Nothing is as important anymore..
Arghhh.. Being an optimist can sometimes be a pain in the ass.. Despite that, I know that things will work out in the end.. one way or another...
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Helping Hand..
I've noticed that my last post was about getting over an ex.. But then, most of it is only applicable when the breakup happened to you.. Now, what would you do if a friend is having trouble getting over an ex? More importantly, what if that friend is someone you admire.. Someone you love? What should you do then?
The answer is out there.. And I intend to find it...
The answer is out there.. And I intend to find it...
Friday, November 19, 2010
Relationships.. Heal Or Leave..
It very easy to get into a relationship, but when the relationship begins having major challenges, goes sour and you don't know what to do, then your decisions become much more difficult..
Whether you decide you want to stay with your partner and begin working to revitalize your relationship or to move on, here are some strategies and ideas to help you move forward in a more empowering way..
It seems that everywhere you look, many long-standing relationships and/or marriages are troubled or dissolving.. If you're like most people, when this happens, you find yourself stuck in thinking about the past, wondering what went wrong, and unable to move from the pain of the relationship.. It doesn't matter whether you leave, stay or were left-one of the best pieces of advice I can give you is to leave the past behind and not carry old “baggage” into the new life you would like to have..
We have each been through the break-up of a major, long-standing relationship and have come to appreciate those times in our lives- even though both divorces were very painful.. We each, in our own ways, learned how to begin healing by not burying our feelings and to start moving toward what we wanted most in our lives instead of living in the past..
If you've been living with the question of whether to stay or go for any length of time you have undoubtedly experienced a great deal of painful feelings surrounding the challenges of this relationship..
It's important to learn from the past but it's equally as important to not stay stuck in it.. Whether you have decided to stay or leave, you have to move forward as if you are starting fresh with a brand new relationship.. What I'm about to share with you are the five keys that are the most important to help move you from your past to healing and start you on your way to creating a new, more vibrant life..
Key 1: Never look at a relationship (or anything else) that hasn't so far worked out as a failure
Often it's the seed of a current or past “failure” that fuels you to the very success that you've always dreamed of.. It sounds trite, but there's always something you can learn from every experience..
Past relationships give you a clearer picture of what you want and what you don't want in a relationship if you take the time to examine them.. It's the power of contrast that living in an unfulfilling relationship may give you..
After a break-up, one should realized what this relationship had taught him/her and that it wasn't a “failure..” This relationship had helped him/her to define the type of partner he/she would really resonate with--someone who was on a similar spiritual path, someone she could have a deep connection with, and someone who loved to be with groups of people..
What I've learned is that if a relationship isn't working out, it is not a bad thing or a failure that our society likes to label it.. It just may be that you have learned what it is that you were supposed to learn by being in a relationship with that other person and it's time to move on to other “lessons..”
I'm not suggesting that you take your relationships lightly and throw them away at the first sign of conflict--Quite the contrary.. What I'm saying is that the purpose of all relationships is to help us to grow.. Even the relationships that are the most troubling to us can be gifts in learning more about ourselves.. Those people who really get under our skin can be our best teachers.. I suggest that you look at all of your relationships as growth experiences and move forward consciously by learning from them..
Here are some questions to help you with this:
* What did I learn about myself by being in a relationship with this person?
* How did it help me to move forward and heal, learn and grow?
* What new beliefs did I take on or let go of as a result of being in a particular relationship?
Key 2: Turn from the past and look toward the future … YOUR future
Sometimes after a separation or during the process of rebuilding a relationship, we find ourselves dwelling in the past, our thoughts consumed with that other person and past events.. You will begin to heal when you start thinking and writing about what you want for your life--today and in the future..
I've found out that the key to moving forward in your new life is to figure out what you want your new life to look like and you can start small-but start..
Here are some ideas that can help you with this process:
* If you or your partner left your relationship, remove photos of your past partner that are prominently positioned in your house (You don't have to destroy them.. Just put them away..)
* If you're staying in the same house that you and your partner shared, move the furniture and put some different things on the walls.. Different inexpensive items that are “you” can really help you to move from your past into your present and future.. Even if you are revitalizing your relationship, clear out some clutter together and you won't believe how that will help..
* Sign up for a class that will get you physically active-yoga, Tai Chi, martial arts, aerobics, swimming, tennis, dancing.. Get your body moving! When you get your body moving, endorphins are released into your bloodstream that help you to feel more positive and uplifted..
* If you are on your own, find a support group-people who will not support you in being a victim or rehash why you left, but groups who will stimulate you into new thought and new ideas..
* If you are revitalizing your relationship, taking a class together at your local university, church or community center can help steer you in new directions together.. Also thinking about setting and implementing new goals for yourselves and for your relationship will create movement which in turn creates healing..
Key 3: Take 100% responsibility for the relationship -no more and no less
When a relationship experiences challenges, very often we want to assign fault and blame.. When you are in a healthy relationship with another person, both people are equally responsible for the relationship.. If a relationship isn't working, the same thing applies.. No matter who appears to be at fault when challenges come up, both people are responsible..
If you are taking more than your share of your responsibility for the relationship not working out the way you would like, you are being a martyr.. If you take less than 100% responsibility for the relationship not working out, you are being a victim.. You can only heal when you have let go of “fault” and “blame” and focus on letting go of the past and how you can do it differently in the future..
This can be a very difficult process if you are hanging on to the need to be right, anger, judgments and unexpressed resentments- especially if you feel your partner hasn't or won't take any responsibility for the health of the relationship..
Forgiving and forgetting may seem to be beyond reality for you now.. It's like if someone says to you, “Don't think of the color blue” “Don't think of the color blue” “Don't think of the color blue,” no matter how hard you try, you probably can't stop visualizing or thinking about the color blue..
The same thing happens when you try to “forget” a negative situation that has an emotional charge to it.. No matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to do it.. We believe that instead of forgiving and forgetting, you have to forgive and let go..
Many people wanting to know how they can forgive when they have been wronged--a spouse cheated on them; they've been abused in one way or another; or maybe their feelings have been hurt and they don't feel loved or valued.. What we can find is actually that the process of healing oneself when a relationship has ended or when a relationship is given a “second chance” requires more than forgiveness.. You must also let go..
But let go of what?
In almost all cases when you are having a difficult time forgiving someone, you are holding on to an attachment of some kind or another.. The attachments most commonly manifest themselves in the need to be justified, the need to be honored, the need to be right, the need to be vindicated, the desire for revenge, and the inability to move past fear..
So when you are holding onto an attachment, what you are actually doing is holding onto a position which is serving you in some way but it is not moving you forward in healing the relationship.. I suggest that you let go of negativity and attachments by deciding to drop them-by deciding that you no longer want to carry and live with the pain and suffering that you have been living.. Decide that you deserve the happiness that you want..
Key 4: Learn from the patterns of the past.. Stay conscious in all your relationships so that you won't repeat the same mistakes
One woman I know is trying to do it differently after several relationships that ended.. She is opening her heart to the possibilities of having the type of relationship that she has wanted but has somehow, up until now, eluded her.. She is starting a new relationship without expectations and is just focusing on being real, authentic and being true to herself.. She's not playing any of the roles she's played in the past as she enters this relationship.. There is a different feeling within her about this relationship because of it.. She is letting go of some of the destructive ways she has interacted with other partners in the past..
This is the first relationship that she has been honest about whether she wants to go somewhere with her partner or not.. In the past, she would always agree to go wherever her mate wanted to go because she wanted to please him rather than please herself.. After doing this for a period of time, she would lose sight of who she was and what she wanted and resentment would build.. Now, she is just allowing herself to open to the possibility of something wonderful happening and being herself in the relationship..
It is suggested that the first step in healing any pattern that is a challenge for you or causing you pain is to become aware of what you are feeling within your body when you experiencing the issue..
For example:
Susie had the pattern of not speaking her truth when there was conflict in past relationships.. When she and Otto came together, she wanted to stop that pattern because unspoken words and feelings would always turn into resentment and create walls with her previous husband.. She became aware that she felt a fluttery, sick feeling in her solar plexus and stomach when she didn't speak her truth and held back words.. With Otto, she came to recognize those feelings, honor them and allow herself to speak the words she was holding back..
For example:
Susie had the pattern of not speaking her truth when there was conflict in past relationships.. When she and Otto came together, she wanted to stop that pattern because unspoken words and feelings would always turn into resentment and create walls with her previous husband.. She became aware that she felt a fluttery, sick feeling in her solar plexus and stomach when she didn't speak her truth and held back words.. With Otto, she came to recognize those feelings, honor them and allow herself to speak the words she was holding back..
The first step to creating any change is awareness and allowing yourself to notice what's going on in your body--whether it's tightness in your chest, neck pain, headache or nervousness in your stomach.. Go back in your mind.. When did you notice you would have these sensations in previous relationships? Susie traced her feelings and inability to speak her truth to her childhood.. Ask yourself, where did this feeling come from, who was there and what was the situation?
In a new relationship, as well as an old one, it's very important to differentiate what has happened in the past from what is happening now.. Your feelings can guide you to uncovering your patterns and to creating healthier ways of being in your relationships..
Step 5: Give thanks for the lessons that you learned and change your attitude
Haven't many of us been told or maybe we've “learned” that relationships were hard and filled with misery? We're here to suggest that it doesn't have to be that way.. You can decide to have the relationships that you want and “to make up your own state of mind..”
As painful as it is to hear, the truth is that everything in your life (including your relationships) is a result of the choices you have made up until now.. If you don't like the circumstances in your life or relationships, decide to make other choices..
This could mean changing your attitude.. It can mean focusing on what you like about your partner instead of what you don't like.. It could mean opening up to bring new people into your life.. It could mean deciding to be a better person in your relationships..
Whatever your challenges are, only you can decide to take one step forward toward having the relationships and the life you want.. If you are having challenges moving on from your previous relationship, we suggest you start by honoring that person as a teacher, here to help you on your journey.. When you find yourself feeling the victim or blaming the other person, change that thought to love and send it to him/her.. Sooner or later you will actually be able to give thanks for the lessons that that person taught you..
Giving gratitude for your relationship and your life, whether you have stayed or left, will be positive movement to what you want in life.. Change your attitude and you will change your life..
If you don't have the kind of relationship or the life that you really want, chances are excellent that there is one of two things standing between you and having what you want-- either there are things that you are not willing to do in order to have what you want or you are holding onto beliefs that are keeping you stuck..
We know from our own experience that when we have held onto limiting thoughts and beliefs, such as “I can't… or I could never…”, we remained stuck.. It wasn't until we opened ourselves to possibilities and changed our beliefs about those situations that we were able to move forward with those goals and heal..
Whether you have decided to stay in your relationship or leave it, we invite you to change your thinking, create positive thoughts and take some action that will help you to create the life that you want.. As you read through this article, you probably thought of some ways to move forward.. I now invite you to take this opportunity to move past your fears and start moving toward the relationships and life that you really want..
Someday.... (pt 2)
Someday, in the distant future..
Remember the beautiful sunlight..
And the journey I took to see you..
At that faraway beach and sky..
Remember the precious memories we made..
You're my dazzlingly bright sea..
If you shove me away..
My dreams crumble into the whiteness..
I'm going away on a trip..
A long sea journey..
I'll carry my body..
On these soft waves towards you..
You're my dazzlingly bright sea..
If you shove me away..
My smile crumbles into the whiteness..
You know how much I truly love you..
Wrap yourself warmly.. softly.. with me...
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Making A Decision..
If, in front of your eyes, you found yourself with a bunch of choices.. How do you, pick the one choice that doesn't leave you with any regrets?..
Even if you, think really hard and are very careful, you might look back and think that you made the wrong choice..
If you were the only one affected, it might be okay.. but if it greatly affect others then... how do we know for sure which would be the best decision to make?..
Sometimes I do feel like I'm unable to make any choices at all.. Fear of having regrets..
However, for me, if I'll regret things or not, I know that it's something that I should consider, but then, sometimes, you'll die before you ever figure out if the choices you made were really mistakes or not..
Regardless of which choice they made, I think there will be people who regret it and people who don't..
Our choices, are our own to be made.. And never once should we blame others for how things turn out..
Just as people are different, so are their styles of decision making.. Each person is a result of all of the decisions made in their life to date.. Recognizing this, here are some tips to enhance your decision making batting average..
1. Use the O.A.R. approach in decision making.. O, Objectives you are seeking to attain, A, the Alternatives you sense are available to you and R, the Risk of the alternative you are considering..
2. Do not make decisions that are not yours to make..
3. When making a decision you are simply choosing from among alternatives.. You are not making a choice between right and wrong..
4. Try to avoid snap decisions.. Move fast on the reversible ones and slowly on the non-reversible..
5. Choosing the right alternative at the wrong time is not any better than the wrong alternative at the right time, so make the decision while you still have time..
6. Do your decision making on paper.. Make notes and keep your ideas visible so you can consider all the relevant information in making this decision..
7. Be sure to choose based on what is right, not who is right..
8. Write down the pros and cons of a line of action.. It clarifies your thinking and makes for a better decision..
9. Make decisions as you go along.. Do not let them accumulate.. A backlog of many little decisions could be harder to deal with than one big and complex decision..
10. Consider those affected by your decision.. Whenever feasible, get them involved to increase their commitment..
11. Recognize that you cannot know with 100% certainty that your decision is correct because the actions to implement it are to take place in the future.. So make it and don’t worry about it..
12. It has been said that a decision should always be made at the lowest possible level and as close to the scene of action as possible.. However, a decision should always be made at a level insuring that all activities and objectives affected are fully considered.. The first rule tells us how far down a decision should be made. The second how far down it can be made..
13. Remember that not making a decision is a decision not to take action..
14. To be effective a manager must have the luxury of having the right to be wrong..
15. Trust yourself to make a decision and then to be able to field the consequences appropriately..
16. Don’t waste your time making decisions that do not have to be made..
17. Determine alternative courses of action before gathering data..
18. Before implementing what appears to be the best choice, assess the risk by asking “What can I think of that might go wrong with this alternative?”
19. Many decisions you make are unimportant-about 80% of them.. Establish operating limits and let your colleagues or others make them for you..
20. Consider making the decision yourself in lieu of a group, but recognize the potential for less commitment by those affected..
21. As part of your decision making process, always consider how the decision is to be implemented..
22. As soon as you are aware that a decision will have to be made on a specific situation, review the facts at hand then set it aside.. Let this incubate in your subconscious mind until it is time to finally make the decision..
23. Once the decision has been made, don’t look back.. Be aware of how it is currently affecting you and focus on your next move.. Never regret a decision. It was the right thing to do at the time.. Now focus on what is right at this time..
24. Mentally rehearse implementation of your choice and reflect in your imagination what outcomes will result..
25. Brainstorming alternative solutions with your staff or others will gain fresh ideas and commitment..
26. Discontinue prolonged deliberation about your decision.. Make it and carry it through..
27. Once you have made the decision and have started what you are going to do, put the “what if’s” aside and do it with commitment..
In everyday life we often have to make decisions fast, without enough time to systematically go through the above action and thinking steps.. In such situations the most effective decision making strategy is to keep an eye on your goals and then let your intuition suggest you the right choice..
Even if you, think really hard and are very careful, you might look back and think that you made the wrong choice..
If you were the only one affected, it might be okay.. but if it greatly affect others then... how do we know for sure which would be the best decision to make?..
Sometimes I do feel like I'm unable to make any choices at all.. Fear of having regrets..
However, for me, if I'll regret things or not, I know that it's something that I should consider, but then, sometimes, you'll die before you ever figure out if the choices you made were really mistakes or not..
Regardless of which choice they made, I think there will be people who regret it and people who don't..
Our choices, are our own to be made.. And never once should we blame others for how things turn out..
Just as people are different, so are their styles of decision making.. Each person is a result of all of the decisions made in their life to date.. Recognizing this, here are some tips to enhance your decision making batting average..
1. Use the O.A.R. approach in decision making.. O, Objectives you are seeking to attain, A, the Alternatives you sense are available to you and R, the Risk of the alternative you are considering..
2. Do not make decisions that are not yours to make..
3. When making a decision you are simply choosing from among alternatives.. You are not making a choice between right and wrong..
4. Try to avoid snap decisions.. Move fast on the reversible ones and slowly on the non-reversible..
5. Choosing the right alternative at the wrong time is not any better than the wrong alternative at the right time, so make the decision while you still have time..
6. Do your decision making on paper.. Make notes and keep your ideas visible so you can consider all the relevant information in making this decision..
7. Be sure to choose based on what is right, not who is right..
8. Write down the pros and cons of a line of action.. It clarifies your thinking and makes for a better decision..
9. Make decisions as you go along.. Do not let them accumulate.. A backlog of many little decisions could be harder to deal with than one big and complex decision..
10. Consider those affected by your decision.. Whenever feasible, get them involved to increase their commitment..
11. Recognize that you cannot know with 100% certainty that your decision is correct because the actions to implement it are to take place in the future.. So make it and don’t worry about it..
12. It has been said that a decision should always be made at the lowest possible level and as close to the scene of action as possible.. However, a decision should always be made at a level insuring that all activities and objectives affected are fully considered.. The first rule tells us how far down a decision should be made. The second how far down it can be made..
13. Remember that not making a decision is a decision not to take action..
14. To be effective a manager must have the luxury of having the right to be wrong..
15. Trust yourself to make a decision and then to be able to field the consequences appropriately..
16. Don’t waste your time making decisions that do not have to be made..
17. Determine alternative courses of action before gathering data..
18. Before implementing what appears to be the best choice, assess the risk by asking “What can I think of that might go wrong with this alternative?”
19. Many decisions you make are unimportant-about 80% of them.. Establish operating limits and let your colleagues or others make them for you..
20. Consider making the decision yourself in lieu of a group, but recognize the potential for less commitment by those affected..
21. As part of your decision making process, always consider how the decision is to be implemented..
22. As soon as you are aware that a decision will have to be made on a specific situation, review the facts at hand then set it aside.. Let this incubate in your subconscious mind until it is time to finally make the decision..
23. Once the decision has been made, don’t look back.. Be aware of how it is currently affecting you and focus on your next move.. Never regret a decision. It was the right thing to do at the time.. Now focus on what is right at this time..
24. Mentally rehearse implementation of your choice and reflect in your imagination what outcomes will result..
25. Brainstorming alternative solutions with your staff or others will gain fresh ideas and commitment..
26. Discontinue prolonged deliberation about your decision.. Make it and carry it through..
27. Once you have made the decision and have started what you are going to do, put the “what if’s” aside and do it with commitment..
In everyday life we often have to make decisions fast, without enough time to systematically go through the above action and thinking steps.. In such situations the most effective decision making strategy is to keep an eye on your goals and then let your intuition suggest you the right choice..
Monday, October 18, 2010
Attitude!
"If you don't like something, change it.. If you can't change it, change your attitude.. Don't complain.."
So asks yourselves.. What have you been doing?
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Types Of Love
Is it really love you're feeling? How sure are you? If it is, then what type?
Do you feel the intimacy? How about the passion? Even so, what of the commitment?
The three components, pictorially labeled on the vertices of a triangle, interact with each other and with the actions they produce and with the actions that produce them so as to form seven different kinds of love experiences (nonlove is not represented).. The size of the triangle functions to represent the "amount" of love - the bigger the triangle the greater the love.. The shape of the triangle functions to represent the "type" of love, which may vary over the course of the relationship:
Nonlove is the absence of all three of Sternberg's components of love..
Liking/friendship in this case is not used in a trivial sense.. Sternberg says that this intimate liking characterizes true friendships, in which a person feels a bond, a warmth, and a closeness with another but not intense passion or long-term commitment..
Infatuated love is pure passion.. Romantic relationships often start out as infatuated love and become romantic love as intimacy develops over time.. Without developing intimacy or commitment, infatuated love may disappear suddenly..
Empty love is characterized by commitment without intimacy or passion.. Sometimes, a stronger love deteriorates into empty love.. In cultures in which arranged marriages are common, relationships may begin as empty love and develop into one of the other forms..
Romantic love bonds individuals emotionally through intimacy and physically through passionate arousal, but neither is sustained without commitment..
Companionate love is an intimate, non-passionate type of love that is stronger than friendship because of the element of long-term commitment.. Sexual desire is not an element of companionate love.. This type of love is often found in marriages in which the passion has gone out of the relationship but a deep affection and commitment remain.. The love ideally shared between family members is a form of companionate love, as is the love between close friends who have a platonic but strong friendship..
Fatuous love can be exemplified by a whirlwind courtship and marriage in which a commitment is motivated largely by passion without the stabilizing influence of intimacy..
Consummate love is the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship toward which people strive.. Of the seven varieties of love, consummate love is theorized to be that love associated with the “perfect couple”.. Such couples will continue fifteen years or more into the relationship, they can not imagine themselves happy over the long-term with anyone else, they overcome their few difficulties gracefully, and each delight in the relationship with one other.. Maintaining a consummate love may be even harder than achieving it.. He stresses the importance of translating the components of love into action.. Without expression, even the greatest of loves can die.. Thus, consummate love may not be permanent.. If passion is lost over time, it may change into companionate love..
 |
| Sternberg's component of love |
Do you feel the intimacy? How about the passion? Even so, what of the commitment?
The three components, pictorially labeled on the vertices of a triangle, interact with each other and with the actions they produce and with the actions that produce them so as to form seven different kinds of love experiences (nonlove is not represented).. The size of the triangle functions to represent the "amount" of love - the bigger the triangle the greater the love.. The shape of the triangle functions to represent the "type" of love, which may vary over the course of the relationship:
Nonlove is the absence of all three of Sternberg's components of love..
Liking/friendship in this case is not used in a trivial sense.. Sternberg says that this intimate liking characterizes true friendships, in which a person feels a bond, a warmth, and a closeness with another but not intense passion or long-term commitment..
Infatuated love is pure passion.. Romantic relationships often start out as infatuated love and become romantic love as intimacy develops over time.. Without developing intimacy or commitment, infatuated love may disappear suddenly..
Empty love is characterized by commitment without intimacy or passion.. Sometimes, a stronger love deteriorates into empty love.. In cultures in which arranged marriages are common, relationships may begin as empty love and develop into one of the other forms..
Romantic love bonds individuals emotionally through intimacy and physically through passionate arousal, but neither is sustained without commitment..
Companionate love is an intimate, non-passionate type of love that is stronger than friendship because of the element of long-term commitment.. Sexual desire is not an element of companionate love.. This type of love is often found in marriages in which the passion has gone out of the relationship but a deep affection and commitment remain.. The love ideally shared between family members is a form of companionate love, as is the love between close friends who have a platonic but strong friendship..
Fatuous love can be exemplified by a whirlwind courtship and marriage in which a commitment is motivated largely by passion without the stabilizing influence of intimacy..
Consummate love is the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship toward which people strive.. Of the seven varieties of love, consummate love is theorized to be that love associated with the “perfect couple”.. Such couples will continue fifteen years or more into the relationship, they can not imagine themselves happy over the long-term with anyone else, they overcome their few difficulties gracefully, and each delight in the relationship with one other.. Maintaining a consummate love may be even harder than achieving it.. He stresses the importance of translating the components of love into action.. Without expression, even the greatest of loves can die.. Thus, consummate love may not be permanent.. If passion is lost over time, it may change into companionate love..
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Why Not Be Not Single? How to Make Time for Romance
Connecting with your partner emotionally and physically is a soothing balm for our frazzled lives.. A foot massage and a sympathetic ear give us the chance to recharge our selves and our love lives.. But after a long day of putting out fires at work,handling numerous phone calls, writing up that report, shuttling the kids back and forth, cooking, doing laundry, walking the dog, etc., etc.- the last thing on your mind is romance.. With so much competing for our attention it is easy to focus on everything but each other.. So, how do you find the time to connect with your sweetie? Make intimacy a habit just like your morning coffee and bagel by adding it into your daily routine..
1. Compliment each other on the things you like and appreciate about each other every day.. Let your partner know that he/she is in your thoughts and in your heart..
2. Create your own simple rituals that show that you care about each other.. Find a way to connect during the day with a note, a phone call, or an email..
3. Listen without giving advice, taking responsibility, or trying to "fix" things.. Let your mate enjoy the luxury of knowing that you are really listening.. Only give feedback if your mate asks for it..
4. Talk to each other about what's going on in your lives besides the day-to-day running of the household or office talk.. Share what you are feeling..
5. Hold each other.. A simple hug can do wonders..
6. Instead of the standard, "How was your day?" exchange, pick at least one good thing about your day and share it with each other..
7. Give each other a kiss when coming and going..
8. Laugh together - often..
9. Plan a regular "date" night once a week..
10. Say the words "I love you"..
You may be thinking that your relationship is the one thing in your hectic life that is stress-free, so why change things? While there is a certain level of comfort and predictability in a long-term relationship, the danger is that you may stop listening and may stop "being there" for your relationship.. Knowing your mate inside and out can also give both of you the illusion that you can read each other's minds.. And this can lead to misunderstandings which, when piled on top of each other, can lead to relationship disasters..
Talk to each other.. Listen.. Ask questions.. Don't assume.. As you continue to grow and change as an individual, so will your relationship.. Keep the lines of communication open by not tuning each other out.. This doesn't just apply to verbal communication either.. If your mate feels more like a roommate than a lover, perhaps you should incorporate more "togetherness" into your daily routines.. Love is in the little things, in the day-to-day details of our lives..
Good luck everyone ;)
1. Compliment each other on the things you like and appreciate about each other every day.. Let your partner know that he/she is in your thoughts and in your heart..
2. Create your own simple rituals that show that you care about each other.. Find a way to connect during the day with a note, a phone call, or an email..
3. Listen without giving advice, taking responsibility, or trying to "fix" things.. Let your mate enjoy the luxury of knowing that you are really listening.. Only give feedback if your mate asks for it..
4. Talk to each other about what's going on in your lives besides the day-to-day running of the household or office talk.. Share what you are feeling..
5. Hold each other.. A simple hug can do wonders..
6. Instead of the standard, "How was your day?" exchange, pick at least one good thing about your day and share it with each other..
7. Give each other a kiss when coming and going..
8. Laugh together - often..
9. Plan a regular "date" night once a week..
10. Say the words "I love you"..
You may be thinking that your relationship is the one thing in your hectic life that is stress-free, so why change things? While there is a certain level of comfort and predictability in a long-term relationship, the danger is that you may stop listening and may stop "being there" for your relationship.. Knowing your mate inside and out can also give both of you the illusion that you can read each other's minds.. And this can lead to misunderstandings which, when piled on top of each other, can lead to relationship disasters..
Talk to each other.. Listen.. Ask questions.. Don't assume.. As you continue to grow and change as an individual, so will your relationship.. Keep the lines of communication open by not tuning each other out.. This doesn't just apply to verbal communication either.. If your mate feels more like a roommate than a lover, perhaps you should incorporate more "togetherness" into your daily routines.. Love is in the little things, in the day-to-day details of our lives..
Good luck everyone ;)
Sunday, October 10, 2010
New Song!
Thanks to one of the games that I recently play, I found this song.. A great game with a great song.. Enjoy! ;)
Friday, October 8, 2010
The Time Has Come....
The Last Poem..
The instant you stood before me..
I love your stare..
Though I cried yesterday..
Today because of you..
Tomorrow I'll be happy..
It's not your face...
It's not your coolness, no no..
All I needed was a soft love..
All the days that past..
I'll forget it..
Without you not even a day..
Only love..
All that I know is love..
It's time to close this chapter and start a new one instead.. My life have taught me one vital thing and that is: I came into this world alone.. I shall leave it alone.. And, if I have to live in it alone, so be it! I contend to live it in peace with myself..
A few days ago, I hung out with some of my friends.. We went for karaoke at Putrajaya from 11-1.. And then, we resumed karaoke-ing at Sri Kembangan.. There were 8 of us.. After that, we went for a drink.. Here's where the interesting part is..
One of my friends, had a really wonderful memory over the last few days.. Well, it was written on her blog, thus, lots of question arise then.. So there was a QnA session as we were having a drink.. And it ended up with her saying that she's afraid to go out with that guy again, coz she's afraid that she might get hurt again..
Well, we did understand that she doesn't wanna get hurt again.. But then, for how long should this continue on? Eventually, one will have to take the risk instead.. Just my point of view, why not now? Even closed door can be opened, correct?
"A real man doesn't make love to a million women.. A real man makes love to one women a million ways.."Understand it.. Live it!
Life is full of risk.. The way we live our lives exposes us to some that we accept
almost without thinking, as part of daily living.. Everyone has read statistics about automobile accidents, but we still use our cars.. Why? Many people smoke even though they have heard thousands of times that it poses a risk of lung cancer and emphysema.. As human, we tend to exaggerate the risk associated with unfamiliar things, and underestimate the risk of familiar things..
Regarding love, it's basically the same.. Each option, each opportunity lies an inescapable risk.. The risk of getting rejected, the risk of getting hurt, the risk of getting dumped.. So many risks.. However, why do we always see the negative side of things?? Look at it this way.. What about taking the risk to be happy once in a while? The risk of finding your significant other? The risk of becoming successful? The risk of finding love?
There is no such thing as a total lost in this world.. Because even if you think that you lose something, you are actually gaining something else in exchange.. Don’t look at a relationship that didn’t work out as a failure.. Often it’s an imagined "failure" that fuels you to the success you’ve always dreamed of..
“To love is to risk not being loved in return.. To hope is to risk pain.. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”
So, I ask this question to you.. What have you been risking? Are you totally being conservative? Are you standing still, when everyone around you is practically moving? Just remember, for as long as there's a will to achieve something, there will surely be a way.. There's no point in living life that has no risk-taking..
Monday, October 4, 2010
Memories..
Looking back on the things I've done as I grow up.. It's quite hilarious.. All the things I've done.. If given the chance, I'd like to do certain things all over again.. Since I know I could do them better..
Growing up.. Yes there are a lot of unforgettable memories, however, one thing that I do not understand with parents nowadays.. They are so caught-up with earning money, that they forgot the most essential thing in raising a child.. The moments shared amongst them.. The hardships that they have to go through.. I'm not saying that it's not okay to keep earning money.. However, I believe that, by spending more time with their children, they can form their personalities accordingly..
Imagine a child, being brought up by maids, who hardly see his parents since they're too busy working their ass off, will become spoiled and hardly know the meaning of "family"..
But then, everyone has their own way to raise their children.. Who are we to judge.. Only they know what they've done, when they see the results.. which is what has become of the child they brought up...
Growing up.. Yes there are a lot of unforgettable memories, however, one thing that I do not understand with parents nowadays.. They are so caught-up with earning money, that they forgot the most essential thing in raising a child.. The moments shared amongst them.. The hardships that they have to go through.. I'm not saying that it's not okay to keep earning money.. However, I believe that, by spending more time with their children, they can form their personalities accordingly..
Imagine a child, being brought up by maids, who hardly see his parents since they're too busy working their ass off, will become spoiled and hardly know the meaning of "family"..
But then, everyone has their own way to raise their children.. Who are we to judge.. Only they know what they've done, when they see the results.. which is what has become of the child they brought up...
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Reasons..
I could think of so many reasons to hate you.. But it won't change the feelings that I feel...
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Last day of september..
Tomorrow will be the last day of September.. This year's September, feels like it's the longest month ever.. With all the ups and downs.. All the faith and hope.. Fate twisted and destiny entangled.. But nonetheless, I survived all the ordeals with one thought in mind..
Guess I need to find a new song for my blog.. It's no longer gonna be September.. Heh..
Guess I need to find a new song for my blog.. It's no longer gonna be September.. Heh..
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
10 Things A Modern Man Wants In A Woman
She has a life of her own!
This is the first thing that a modern man would want to have in his woman. Gone are the days when a couple were seen as a single entity. A man would love his woman to have her own social life beyond him. Closing a couple inside a world away from social life will ruin it in the long run. Now this does not mean that a couple need to be overly social. The social level of a couple varies from one couple to another but each partner must have a social life.Sense of Humor
Ladies prefer a guy who can make them laugh everyday. Guys are no different. They also want a woman who laughs along and keeps the relationship light and alive.Knows what she wants
Men like their women confident and goal oriented. It gives them a kick to know that their woman is clear in her head and knows exactly what she is doing and how. Confidence definitely scores.Independent
Men were the caretakers as far as our ancestors were concerned. But times have changed. With both the genders being equally successful and independent, men desire their women to be able to take care of themselves and not be the damsel in distress all the time. Sharing Interests
Men do not want you to like everything that they do. If you don’t like his golf club, its fine with him, so long as you are just open to sharing his experiences and listen to him. That’s all they want, a healthy sharing of interests.Tell me straight
All men want their women to be straight and upfront about what bothers them and not play around with words. It only confuses them. Straight talk is much appreciated. And the worst that a woman can do is to listen blindly to others and not clarify things with the man before reaching a conclusion!She initiates sex
The days when sex initiation was taken to be the man’s domain are quite far behind now. Men appreciate their women to come up first and start it all, infact it is a turn on for most men.Caring
No matter how modern or retro a man is , a caring woman is always desirable. Men want to be mothered for and not nagged, so caring is definitely a plus.Space giving
They love you and do not feel it is important to be told a thousand times a day over calls and mails. Men would look for a woman who does not turn on the relationship pressure on a constant basis but rather understand and give them space to be. I precise on this one. Saying lovely words and expressing love during the day and very often is very good but if you keep saying it every 30 minutes over 24 hours, then you are either mad or not busy enough! Expressing love 5 to 6 times a day is however normal.Spontaneity
This is much under- rated, but a highly desirable trait. It is usually propagated that women love surprises, but men too, relish spontaneity and on the spur moments and would love to have a spontaneous woman.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Best song for the month..
I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind
Oh, I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back
but I know you did
I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
would just kill me if I'm on my own
Oh, I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back
I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight
one more chance tonight
I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove
Oh, I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back
but I know you did
And I didn't mean to meet you then
when we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills
the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Composed!
A few friends of mine always asks me..
Well.. Yeah it's true that I seemed trouble most of the times, due to my "think too much" attitude.. But never once am I suffering..
Even when the situation made me fell, I'd simply enjoy falling down, and laugh all the way as I stand back up..
Despite that, I will always cherish the feelings I have.. This is all I can do... To stay composed, and be happy about all the things that happened..
"For how long should I suffer?"My reply to them was..
"Suffer? What made you think that I'm suffering?"
Well.. Yeah it's true that I seemed trouble most of the times, due to my "think too much" attitude.. But never once am I suffering..
Even when the situation made me fell, I'd simply enjoy falling down, and laugh all the way as I stand back up..
Despite that, I will always cherish the feelings I have.. This is all I can do... To stay composed, and be happy about all the things that happened..
Friday, September 10, 2010
1st day of raya..
1st day of raya has come again.. And for some reason, I find myself staring into the distance... What fate has in store for me in the coming year, I do not know.. But with thoughts of you, I will, without a shadow of a doubt, stand tall and smile like I've never smiled before... :)
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Triangle of Love
Well.. The picture has said it all..
Just my thoughts...
Sometimes.. We men feel women always shoot a bullet into our heart, causing great pain..
And sometimes, women feel the same towards men..
Maybe this is the unanswerable partnership that's been bothering all human..
But sometimes..
We have to ask ourselves..
Is she or he happy with us?
Do we not want someone whose heart doesn't contain us?
Maybe.. To let go is something big.. but that would be the biggest sacrifice for love..
If you really love her, you'll be happy when she's happy..
Because..
To love is not to own..
Saturday, September 4, 2010
S.O.S
Told you I made dinner plans
For you and me and no one else
That don't include your crazy friends
Well I'm done
With awkward situation's empty conversations
Oh This is an S.O.S.
Don't wanna second guess,
This is the bottom line
It's true
I gave my all for you,
now my heart's in two
And I can't find the other half
It's like I'm walking on broken glass,
Better believe I bled
It's a call I'll never get
So this is where the story ends
A conversation on IM
Well I'm done
With texting,
Sorry for the miscommunication
Oh This is an S.O.S.
Don't wanna second guess,
This is the bottom line
It's true
I gave my all for you,
now my heart's in two
And I can't find the other half
It's like I'm walking on broken glass,
better believe I bled
It's a call I'll never get
Next time I see you
I'm giving you a high five
'cause hugs are over rated, just FYI
Oh This is an S.O.S.
Don't wanna second guess,
This is the bottom line
It's true
I gave my all for you,
Now my heart's in two
(yeah)
Oh This is an S.O.S.
Don't wanna second guess,
This is the bottom line
It's true
I gave my all for you,
Now my heart's in two
And I can't find the other half
It's like I'm walking on broken glass,
Better believe I bled
It's a call I'll never get
For you and me and no one else
That don't include your crazy friends
Well I'm done
With awkward situation's empty conversations
Oh This is an S.O.S.
Don't wanna second guess,
This is the bottom line
It's true
I gave my all for you,
now my heart's in two
And I can't find the other half
It's like I'm walking on broken glass,
Better believe I bled
It's a call I'll never get
So this is where the story ends
A conversation on IM
Well I'm done
With texting,
Sorry for the miscommunication
Oh This is an S.O.S.
Don't wanna second guess,
This is the bottom line
It's true
I gave my all for you,
now my heart's in two
And I can't find the other half
It's like I'm walking on broken glass,
better believe I bled
It's a call I'll never get
Next time I see you
I'm giving you a high five
'cause hugs are over rated, just FYI
Oh This is an S.O.S.
Don't wanna second guess,
This is the bottom line
It's true
I gave my all for you,
Now my heart's in two
(yeah)
Oh This is an S.O.S.
Don't wanna second guess,
This is the bottom line
It's true
I gave my all for you,
Now my heart's in two
And I can't find the other half
It's like I'm walking on broken glass,
Better believe I bled
It's a call I'll never get
Missing
I tried coming alone to our usual park..
It's a feeling I've never felt..
Like a child, frightened by the sound of the wind..
I ran back alone the path home..
The sky outside the window is too fast, where are you know..
Please may this reach you..
Dear Lord if you ever grant wishes,
Grant my wish right now please!
I want to hear your voice, I miss you! I want to see you now..
Why must you already be looking toward tomorrow..
Don't just brush it off saying the time has slipped by..
Once more..
I love you and yet it's been too late since long ago..
Even if I give up it can't be like the past..
Don't just decide so simply there's no way, no choice..
Smile once more..
It's a feeling I've never felt..
Like a child, frightened by the sound of the wind..
I ran back alone the path home..
The sky outside the window is too fast, where are you know..
Please may this reach you..
Dear Lord if you ever grant wishes,
Grant my wish right now please!
I want to hear your voice, I miss you! I want to see you now..
Why must you already be looking toward tomorrow..
Don't just brush it off saying the time has slipped by..
Once more..
I love you and yet it's been too late since long ago..
Even if I give up it can't be like the past..
Don't just decide so simply there's no way, no choice..
Smile once more..
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Efforts
How not to have high expectations when you do things with 100% efforts?
Isn't it obvious? If you don't do things with full effort, how can your dreams be visualized and become a reality?..
Will someone even do things with all their can, if they have low expectations? Hmm..
Isn't it obvious? If you don't do things with full effort, how can your dreams be visualized and become a reality?..
Will someone even do things with all their can, if they have low expectations? Hmm..
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Chiisana Koi No Uta..
In this wide universe, there is
A big world in a blue earth
A small memory of love will reach
You who are living in a small island
Time has passed since I met you
The letter with my piled up feelings increases
Without us realizing, it is already echoing between us
Sometimes we’re full of intensity,
sometimes we’re full of sadness
These feelings echoes distantly
This gentle love song will change the world
Look, the person who is important to you
Is right beside you
I just want you to receive
This echoing love song
Listen, listen, listen to this echoing love song
You’ve realized even when we walked
In the dark, the moonlight will shine on us
I won’t let go of you hand
I swear that these strong feelings will last for eternity
In the depths of forever, I’ll definitely say
These same words without any change of feelings
Even if it’s still not enough, it’ll change into tears
And it’ll change into joy that I can’t put into words
I’ll just hold you, I’ll just hold you
Look, the person who is important to you
Is right beside you
I just want you to receive
This echoing love song
Listen, listen, listen to this echoing love song
If it’s a dream don’t wake up, if it’s a dream don’t wake up
The time I’ve spent with you will become an everlasting star
Look, the person who is important to you
Is right beside you
I just want you to receive
This echoing love song
Look, the person who is important to you
Is right beside you
I just want you to receive
This echoing love song
Listen, listen, listen to this echoing love song
A big world in a blue earth
A small memory of love will reach
You who are living in a small island
Time has passed since I met you
The letter with my piled up feelings increases
Without us realizing, it is already echoing between us
Sometimes we’re full of intensity,
sometimes we’re full of sadness
These feelings echoes distantly
This gentle love song will change the world
Look, the person who is important to you
Is right beside you
I just want you to receive
This echoing love song
Listen, listen, listen to this echoing love song
You’ve realized even when we walked
In the dark, the moonlight will shine on us
I won’t let go of you hand
I swear that these strong feelings will last for eternity
In the depths of forever, I’ll definitely say
These same words without any change of feelings
Even if it’s still not enough, it’ll change into tears
And it’ll change into joy that I can’t put into words
I’ll just hold you, I’ll just hold you
Look, the person who is important to you
Is right beside you
I just want you to receive
This echoing love song
Listen, listen, listen to this echoing love song
If it’s a dream don’t wake up, if it’s a dream don’t wake up
The time I’ve spent with you will become an everlasting star
Look, the person who is important to you
Is right beside you
I just want you to receive
This echoing love song
Look, the person who is important to you
Is right beside you
I just want you to receive
This echoing love song
Listen, listen, listen to this echoing love song
Patience?
Over the last few years, ever since my breakdown, I've learnt that going along with your emotions will bring you nowhere..
There's no point in being angry..Perhaps my bigger problem is I think too much.. And I have a few cases of... "ignorance" and "forgetting".. Maybe it's due to my persistence.. The inability to give up at such an early stage.. Even though I'm trying to forget, I'm remembering more and more.... All the laughs, joy, tears, sorrows, moments, memories that we share....
There's no point at all to complain..
There's no point at all to be depressed..
Life will sometimes drag you down, so you need to depend on yourself to pull you back up..
Most of the time, people will say what you wanna hear.. They lie.. But not in a bad way.. Just to lift your spirits again..
Upon walking on a path, we sometimes need to turn and take a glimpse of what we've gone through.. Just for a moment of course, and then, continue walking along the path..
Hurting yourself physically is a very good way to stop feeling hurt emotionally..
A few questions that I always ask myself.. What should I do now? By doing so, will I get the results I wanted? Can they be trusted? Why are they here? For what purpose? If things happened for a reason, what would be the reason for this?
Sunday, August 29, 2010
The Calling
Can you hear this voice?
I've been calling that, always,
From deep within my heart
Would you, all alone, let another lonely one be next to you
Because together it's not lonely, it's twoly
See, you're not alone any longer
Just because there's no one next to me
Doesn't mean that I'm lonely
For someone to notice this pain
That heart must have surely cried
Right now, we'll crush to bits
The fortress of our limitless sadness
I'll take you with me
Got it? I'm running through at full power
To where you're waiting, left behind,
In the place of tears
I believe in you, with burning passion
So, come to me!
I've been calling that, always,
From deep within my heart
Would you, all alone, let another lonely one be next to you
Because together it's not lonely, it's twoly
See, you're not alone any longer
Just because there's no one next to me
Doesn't mean that I'm lonely
For someone to notice this pain
That heart must have surely cried
Right now, we'll crush to bits
The fortress of our limitless sadness
I'll take you with me
Got it? I'm running through at full power
To where you're waiting, left behind,
In the place of tears
I believe in you, with burning passion
So, come to me!
Future..
There are no boring days
The future looks so exciting
Every day is full or surprises
The hurdles are so high
You can't get over them with half-assed feelings
When you find out what's happening
When you take the effort to answer
It can't be hard...
The bad times aren't useless
Eternity lasts forever
With this fleeting feelings
And the sky splits apart your illusion
Believe without looking away
And let's go laughing all the way..
The future looks so exciting
Every day is full or surprises
The hurdles are so high
You can't get over them with half-assed feelings
When you find out what's happening
When you take the effort to answer
It can't be hard...
The bad times aren't useless
Eternity lasts forever
With this fleeting feelings
And the sky splits apart your illusion
Believe without looking away
And let's go laughing all the way..
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Hidamari (Sunny Place)
Kimi ga kureta kotobatachi wa
Suteki da kedo nazo mo ooi kara
Itsumo hitorikiri no toki
Sono imi ni kizuku
Ato ni natte yasashisa o shiru
Arigatou o ii ni oikakeru
Nanoni kimi wa sono saki o susundeite
Oitsukenai mama de
Hikari ga sasu akarui hi no hou e hashirou
Kitto soko de kimi ga mieru ne
Yami no naka o susumu hazu ga nai
Taiyou no kakudo de kage ni naru yokogao o
Mamorinukeru kurai takaku tsuyoku terashitai yo
Shinayaka na hidamari no you ni
Kimi ga warai furimuita toki
Kuraku natta soba no hoo ni wa
Umaku keshita tsumori demo
Namida no sen oritatamareteita
Damatta mama mune no hako no naka ni shimaou
Sotto shiteteagetai koto nara
Tatta hitotsu dekiru sakimawari
Hikari to kagetachi ga chirachira suru komorebi
Tsutsundeshimaitai tanoshii kanashii dono omoi mo
Atataka na hidamari no you ni
Egao no o o hiite kimi wa mata sono saki e
Tsutsundeshimaitai ureshii kuyashii kono omoi mo
Taiyou no kakudo de kage ni naru yokogao o
Mamorinukeru kurai takaku tsuyoku terashitai yo
Shinayaka na hidamari no you ni
Hanarete mo yorisoeru kokoro
Suteki da kedo nazo mo ooi kara
Itsumo hitorikiri no toki
Sono imi ni kizuku
Ato ni natte yasashisa o shiru
Arigatou o ii ni oikakeru
Nanoni kimi wa sono saki o susundeite
Oitsukenai mama de
Hikari ga sasu akarui hi no hou e hashirou
Kitto soko de kimi ga mieru ne
Yami no naka o susumu hazu ga nai
Taiyou no kakudo de kage ni naru yokogao o
Mamorinukeru kurai takaku tsuyoku terashitai yo
Shinayaka na hidamari no you ni
Kimi ga warai furimuita toki
Kuraku natta soba no hoo ni wa
Umaku keshita tsumori demo
Namida no sen oritatamareteita
Damatta mama mune no hako no naka ni shimaou
Sotto shiteteagetai koto nara
Tatta hitotsu dekiru sakimawari
Hikari to kagetachi ga chirachira suru komorebi
Tsutsundeshimaitai tanoshii kanashii dono omoi mo
Atataka na hidamari no you ni
Egao no o o hiite kimi wa mata sono saki e
Tsutsundeshimaitai ureshii kuyashii kono omoi mo
Taiyou no kakudo de kage ni naru yokogao o
Mamorinukeru kurai takaku tsuyoku terashitai yo
Shinayaka na hidamari no you ni
Hanarete mo yorisoeru kokoro
The words you gave me
They were wonderful, but cryptic all the same
It’s always when I’m all alone
That the meaning sinks in
Only later on do I realize your kindness
I run after you to say thank you
But you've already proceeded ahead
Before I could catch up with you
I’ll run to a bright and shining day
I know I’ll see you there
You couldn't possibly tread into the darkness
The angle of the sun causes shadows to cast upon your profile
I want to shine high and bright, just enough to protect it
Like a nice and sunny place
When you smiled and turned your face away
Despite your best efforts to hold they back
Tears trickled down
The darkened side of your cheek
I’ll silently tuck it away into a box in my heart
If I wish to leave you be
Then all that can be done is to beat you to it
Shadows and light flicker under the eaves of the trees
I want to embrace all the running emotions, the joy and the sorrow
Like a warm and sunny place
Leaving a trail of smiles behind you, you continue onwards
I want to embrace this feeling of being torn between happiness and regret
The angle of the sun causes shadows to cast upon your profile
I want to shine high and bright, just enough to protect it
Like a nice and sunny place
Though separated, my heart lies close to yours
Omamori Himari - Hidamari
きみが くれた 言葉たちは
すてき だけど 謎も 多いから
いつも ひとりきりのとき
その意味に 気づく
あとに なって やさしさを知る
ありがとうを 言いに 追いかける
なのに きみは その先を 進んでいて
追いつけないままで
光が射す 明るい日のほうへ 走ろう
きっと そこできみが みえるね
闇のなかを 進むはずがない
太陽の角度で 陰になる横顔を
まもりぬけるくらい 高く 強く 照らしたいよ
しなやかな ひだまりのように
きみが わらい ふりむいたとき
くらくなったがわの 頬には
うまく 消した つもりでも
涙の線 折りたたまれていた
だまったまま 胸の箱のなかに しまおう
そっと しててあげたい ことなら
たった1つ できる 先まわり
光と影たちが ちらちらする 木もれ陽
つつんでしまいたい 楽しいかなしい どの想いも
暖かな ひだまりのように
笑顔の尾をひいて きみはまた その先へ
つつんでしまいたい 嬉しいくやしい この想いも
太陽の角度で 陰になる横顔を
まもりぬけるくらい 高く 強く 照らしたいよ
しなやかな ひだまりのように
離れても よりそえる こころ
すてき だけど 謎も 多いから
いつも ひとりきりのとき
その意味に 気づく
あとに なって やさしさを知る
ありがとうを 言いに 追いかける
なのに きみは その先を 進んでいて
追いつけないままで
光が射す 明るい日のほうへ 走ろう
きっと そこできみが みえるね
闇のなかを 進むはずがない
太陽の角度で 陰になる横顔を
まもりぬけるくらい 高く 強く 照らしたいよ
しなやかな ひだまりのように
きみが わらい ふりむいたとき
くらくなったがわの 頬には
うまく 消した つもりでも
涙の線 折りたたまれていた
だまったまま 胸の箱のなかに しまおう
そっと しててあげたい ことなら
たった1つ できる 先まわり
光と影たちが ちらちらする 木もれ陽
つつんでしまいたい 楽しいかなしい どの想いも
暖かな ひだまりのように
笑顔の尾をひいて きみはまた その先へ
つつんでしまいたい 嬉しいくやしい この想いも
太陽の角度で 陰になる横顔を
まもりぬけるくらい 高く 強く 照らしたいよ
しなやかな ひだまりのように
離れても よりそえる こころ
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